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36 and really struggling


Registered User
Mar 6, 2014
Hi I'm 36 and struggling for the last 2-3 yrs to keep my memories together.
It's been things like forgetting if I'd spoken to people about things going on or I've forgotten what my kids movements are over the next few weeks etc and then having very embarrassing conversations with people and completely forgetting I'd spoken to them about it.

At work I struggle to take a brief and remember that I've taken notes. Then try to do the job and forget to even look for any notes let alone that I've taken them. I've got apps for tasks reminders and calendar alerts to remind me to look at those!

The worst most recently and probably the reason I'm here writing this now is my best friends wife is pregnant and they told me about two months ago. My wife said yesterday hasn't she got a lovely tidy bump and I had completely forgotten(I mean completely) until I tried really hard to remember if I'd known or she'd let something slip. I finally recalled a telephone conversation about having 3 kids not two with my friend and most of the conversation finally came into context. I very nearly embarrassed myself there big time and took a lot of control not to say, “what do you mean, is she pregnant?”.

I also have problems keeping on one track with my work. If I suddenly think of something else I'm off on a tangent and forgetting to continue with what I'm doing. Might or might not be linked…

Another issue for me is getting my point across properly. In my head it's there, I think I know what I'm about to say but then it comes out wrong. Arguing my case in conversation is really difficult most of the time. I know I'm right sometimes, 100% sure but can't remember why.

As a background Dementia and Alzheimer's does run in my family through my Grandmother and my Dad is really bad but won't get checked for fear of the inevitable so I have an underlying concern there personally. However I'm only 36 so is that at all possible or am I just cr*p at remembering and possibly lazy at trying to remember.

I work for myself and often do 14+ hr days so do put it possibly down to tiredness. I also have Ankylosing Spondilitis(I know drama queen eh…) which does make me even more tired.

I'm reluctant currently to get any form of tests done as we are in the process of sorting life insurance and critical cover out and I'm aware that if there is an issue I may not be covered for it if I don't sort that first. If I can't work later on we can't pay our mortgage so I need to cover this. Not sure if that's entirely legal even saying that but in my eyes I've not been diagnosed with anything so can't tick that box can I… This has been playing heavily on my mind.

My wife is getting more frustrated with me forgetting things so I'm now trying to hide it if I have no idea what she's on about. She jokes about my memory but I'm sure wouldn't be surprised if I was but for all her qualities she's not good at sympathy and has always been very fit and healthy so struggles to understand my AS let alone if there was anything else.

Sorry for the long rant. This is the first time I've written anything down and reading back I do sound like I'm dramatising a little but hey it's definitely causing me grief so why not get an opinion other than my own. Hopefully I'm just cr*p at remembering!

Would love to hear anyones thoughts please.


Registered User
Mar 6, 2014
wrong section

Could someone please move this to the correct forum. I think I put this in the wrong place.



Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
Welcome to TP Tom.

Go to see your GP & have some blood tests. You could just have a vitamin decifiency or simple simple.


Registered User
Mar 6, 2014
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. 14 hour days really messed with my husband

This "may" help

Difference between normal and dementia

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Thanks 2jays this is a really great clip. What a brilliant example and explains a lot.


Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
West Midlands
Good the clip was useful

No go and see your doc and check out that you are not "lacking"......in any vitamins or have anaemia ;)

My husband didn't eat properly as he was "too busy" didn't sleep properly as "he had too much on his mind"

A crunch situation happened.... Maybe this is your crunch situation xx

Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point