As well as my own mother with early stage Alzheimer’s, my 90 year old MIL is rapidly deteriorating with acute memory issues. She was hospitalised with a burst diverticulum in April and it was decided by the medics that she was too high a risk to operate on - diabetes, spinal stenosis, severe arthritis so very limited mobility. Until this episode, she had been living independently but with a casual arrangement with a friend who would do housework and help her shower. Her memory hasn’t been brilliant for a while but since she has been discharged, she can’t recall a conversation from 5 minutes ago and has told us quite a few things that she has definitely imagined. She has no idea what day it is and repeats conversations endlessly. We have arranged 24 home care through an agency and already one carer has given up and the second looks like she’s going the same way. Both girls were absolutely lovely but she wouldn't let either them out of her sight, keeps them up all night with her demands to be moved from her bed to the living room, then ten minutes later she wants to go back to bed. If they try and persuade her to stay put, she cries and screams like a child. The current carer is on her knees with exhaustion. We’ve had to fund an additional carer to sit with MIL whilst her own one takes her two hour rest otherwise she’s calling her for the toilet or for company. She has no recall of any of these issues the next morning, We both feel that live-in care isn’t really working. As well as the physical issues, MIL just sits there. The TV is on but it’s just background noise. She doesn’t read. The lovely carer has tried to play simple board games with her in an attempt to stimulate her and whenever she has suggested taking her out in her wheelchair, MIL just makes an excuse. She falls asleep during conversations too. No wonder she isn’t sleeping at night as she’s not really doing much doing the day. My husband and I are beginning to feel that at least in a care home there would be activities, other people, comings and goings, trips etc. We’ve had a look around one that was recommended and it was really homely with an excellent QCC report but whenever we talk about just having a taster day, MIL shouts that she’s NOT going into a home and we can’t make her, although she regularly tells us she wants to die and wishes she could just be put down. To compound everything, she complained to the care agency manager, when she was visiting, that we were pressurising her and now a report has been filed about us. All we want is to find the best solution for her, we have no ulterior motive but she’s making us feel like villains.