My parents both died with dementia - my mum had Alzheimer's and my dad Vascular Dementia - but their journey through it was so different, although their endings could both have been better, especially my dad's. I was plunged into dad's illness soon after my mum died so don't feel I grieved properly for my mum. Now dad has gone things keep coming up about both of them. It's such a hard journey and, with no other family apart from my husband whose parents are still alive, there's no-one to share it with, as there was no-one to share the huge load as they died. You have my heartfelt sympathies.
Karen
Oh my lovely , I’m an ( adopted) only child & ive just lost Dad a month ago & Aged Mothers at end stage dementia; my tummy mummy past 18 months ago.
To be honest I haven’t had a chance to grieve properly, just like life - dementia doesn’t take a breath it just keeps on going.
Even after death, dementia leaves a bitter taste & painful memories. Oh yes I have hilarious anecdotes of funny incidents dementia related, but also the sympathy for a bereavement is tinged with - at least ( name ) is not suffering anymore!
But I am tortured by the experience, the continual battles to get help, the ridiculous systems & protocols of social services etc. I’m angry, upset, confused, bereft & lost.
So you aren’t alone my lovely, I’m struggling with Dads passing & the horrors of dementia. I want all of this to mean something... I want some positivity to come out of so much pain & distress. I almost feel guilty for being alive how sad is that.
logically I know that this is part of grieving but emotionally I’m a wreck. trying to find positivity & actually failing on a daily basis.
my grand plans of being the best version of myself ..... pah! Maybe we are meant to wallow & then re- emerge come spring shedding our grief & getting used to the new softer version ...
Lets hope shall we
Xx