20 weeks today since he went in a care home

[SandyRose]

Thanks to the Corona restrictions,I do not know really how much he has deteriorated, if at all, although I phone and he never makes any sense, and yet, if someone did not know him, they wouldn't know that every thing that came out of his mouth was nonsense. Always, ALWAYS it is some variation of "I am coming home" "Are you picking me up" but then he just fades away - and I am lonely. I did not really think I would be. Never been bothered about been on my own, indeed, was glad to be when he went off with daughters' somewhere, but it is different. I must alter my life, I can barely be bothered to move all day, not good (thanks to needing new hip but too overweight at the moment). Pre corona,I am sure there were meetings, organisations, I don't know, sOMEWHERE for the newly lonely to go, but lockdown, while to some extent I think it does not bother me, its does, because there is nowhere I can go. This is a somewhat self-piting post and I will be fine tomorrow. I have looked in my diary at the last few weeks and am amazed about how bad it was and how much I had forgotten - and you do if it is not writen down. I am winging to much, other people have it far worse.

 

[Ernest]

I can fully empathize with you. It's this horrible "limbo" He's still here but not HERE!! It's horrible. Well meaning, wonderful friends tell me to get my life back. Easier said than done when I can't stop feeling so guilty that he's in the CH and I'm in our home on my own. He will never accept it but it's for his own safety. Reading posts and occasionally replying helps me such a lot plus a glass of wine !! Take care xx

 

[EdgsonW]

Love your note SandyRose. Yes we are all having to wing it and even though every day brings up new problems on the notices that we are sent I just can't believe how fast the year is going by.
You will see my latest poem above and every time I sent one in i keep saying it will be a happier one, but just can't manage it yet.
Take Care. EdgsonW