I have two things I'd appreciate advice about to help me with my mother, who has vascular dementia, still lives on her own with no carer package yet (still refusing that), is 200 miles away from me, is 8 miles from my brother, who either can't or won't visit regularly.
Problem 1:
Mum has been able to keep a diary up to now, provided I spelt the words for her to write down, but today when I was on the phone trying to help her fill thingss in, she said she couldn't remember how to make the letters - so we are at the point where she can't fill in her diary, but can read things which are in there. How can I, from a distance, make sure she knows what she needs to be doing each day?
Problem 2:
I usually travel up to see Mum and spend a week with her over Christmas. During that time, we usually get a visit on Boxing Day from my brother, his wife and two children. Mum looks forward to their visit tremendously and has to be stopped from emptying Tescos for the event! Unfortunately, since my father died, 12 years ago, there has not been a good relationship between Mum and my sister-in-law and that rift has spread to my nieces, too - now 15 and 16 years old. My brother has now told me that his family want, for once, to have Christmas to themselves, although he's happy to drive Mum to my house to spend Christmas here. I don't think that's good for Mum'cos she'll be away from her home environment, won't see any of the few friends she still has left and will miss seeing her son and grandchildren. Also, it would mean that my opportunity to check that things are still OK in the house and to sort out papers would disappear. Any suggestions - particularly as I care deeply for my brother and family, but find it difficult to understand their point of view -would be welcome.
Thanks in advance!
Problem 1:
Mum has been able to keep a diary up to now, provided I spelt the words for her to write down, but today when I was on the phone trying to help her fill thingss in, she said she couldn't remember how to make the letters - so we are at the point where she can't fill in her diary, but can read things which are in there. How can I, from a distance, make sure she knows what she needs to be doing each day?
Problem 2:
I usually travel up to see Mum and spend a week with her over Christmas. During that time, we usually get a visit on Boxing Day from my brother, his wife and two children. Mum looks forward to their visit tremendously and has to be stopped from emptying Tescos for the event! Unfortunately, since my father died, 12 years ago, there has not been a good relationship between Mum and my sister-in-law and that rift has spread to my nieces, too - now 15 and 16 years old. My brother has now told me that his family want, for once, to have Christmas to themselves, although he's happy to drive Mum to my house to spend Christmas here. I don't think that's good for Mum'cos she'll be away from her home environment, won't see any of the few friends she still has left and will miss seeing her son and grandchildren. Also, it would mean that my opportunity to check that things are still OK in the house and to sort out papers would disappear. Any suggestions - particularly as I care deeply for my brother and family, but find it difficult to understand their point of view -would be welcome.
Thanks in advance!