2 parents with dementia

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by ssmaff, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. ssmaff

    ssmaff New member

    Jul 17, 2019
    4
    My Dad has been diagnosed with Dementia probably about 4 years ago by the GP but is now having a hospital assesment in about 2 weeks. This week though my Mum has also been diagnosed. They have buried their head in the sand for many years and have fought me every step of the way when I have suggested cleaners etc. I have now managed to persuade them to have a cleaner and a gardener so that they can enjoy their garden too. I am an only child and both myself and my husband have had cancer treatment over the last few years and still both work. It has been a tough time all round. The Alzheimers Dr that came this week (Mum didnt tell me until the Sunday that she was coming on the Monday!) unfortunately I couldn't meet up with as I was at work has said she will send me a hard copy of the diagnosis but Mum did say that she suggested someone living in to care for them. How does this work - does anyone have this set up? I am wondering if it is a rota of people that do this. I know it will be difficult to persuade my Dad but Mum wouldn't have told me if she was totally anti it!
     
  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,401
    Female
    England
    Hi @ssmaff and welcome to DTP.

    A live in Carer would be expensive and a second would be needed to cover holidays, time off and illness.

    It would be doubtful that social services would fund this if your parents were not self funding. They will fund visits that the deem to be necessary but would think that live in care would be more expensive than residential care so that would mean a care home. I have no knowledge of live in care so just guessing here but hopefully someone will come along who has knowledge.

    I would wait until you get the paperwork so you see exactly what was said, your Mum could have got it a little mixed up or even trying it on to see if you will agree to move in, that’s not unknown.

    Hopefully you will find the forum and members a great help to you as you go forward.
     
  3. ssmaff

    ssmaff New member

    Jul 17, 2019
    4
     
  4. ssmaff

    ssmaff New member

    Jul 17, 2019
    4
    Thank you - I really need all the info I can get and yes she could be confused or trying to get more from me. I have already had 3 calls this morning, just because she knows i am catching up on housework, paper work etc!
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,864
    Female
    South coast
    Once you have had the report and know what had been suggested, the best thing is to contact Social Services for a needs assessment for them both and see what can be offered. If your parents have £25,000 each (ie £50,000 jointly). not including the house all the while at least one of them is living in it, then they will be considered to be self-funded, but if they have under this, then the Local Authority will start to contribute to the cost of their care so long as they agree that it is needed. Social Services are unlikely to fund live-in carers as it is very expensive and would probably offer carers 3 or 4 times a day and perhaps a day care centre.
     

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