2 in front and now this!

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by SteveS, Sep 4, 2007.

  1. SteveS

    SteveS Registered User

    Jun 20, 2007
    41
    Altrincham, cheshire
    #1 SteveS, Sep 4, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2007
    We're now two behind getting a room for Dad in our choice of home.

    He's had a chest infection, and at 01:30 this morning the hospital phone me to tell me he was quite poorly - they were taking blood samples, and giving him a chest X Ray.

    After waking me up, my heart pounding at around 120+ bpm, I pulled my self around enough to ask, what do we need to do?

    The staff nurse calmly replied "nothing" - "just go back to sleep, you lucky person", "and phone us in the morning".

    So, after tossing and turning, wondering if I should be at the bedside of my Dad, I eventually fell back to sleep.

    07:30am - I phone the hospital "how is he?"; "he's a little brighter"; "Oh" I said, "I was phoned at 1:30 this morning", "yes, we've not handed over yet, I'll get one of the night girls"; "hello can I help you?" a loud voice - "how's my Dad?","he's a little brighter but not out of the woods yet, can you phone after 11:30, when the ward round has been, we can update you then"

    12:00 " he's very poorly" - "we've got him on IV antibiotics"; "oh" I said "whats the prognosis?" ; "sorry can't tell you that over the phone" was the reply, "should we be there?"; "it might be better if you did" - I can't get there til this evening, but it don't look too good.....

    Can't understand if he has a fever., infection or what? - is he dying? It's so confusing! - i went round to Mums at lunch time to let her know what was happening - she didn't take much of it in "not to worry she said we're going tomorrow afternoon and I'll take him some of his ribena...."


    Ther Social worker phoned me at work this morning - "I'll get you the CPN report for next week, she's on holidays" - "I saw your dad this morning he was sleeping" - "Did you realise he was Ill?" i asked, "No she said", "Oh I beleive he's very poorly" I added; "don't worry he'll be fine" she said....

    Is this the end?
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    It's amazing how people can rally, but unless you are dealing with an unsually communicative hospital, the words "it might be better if you did" would mean to me that I should be there: in my experience they downplay everything, so this sort of warning should be heeded. To be honest, the middle of the night phone call would have sent me over there hot-footed.

    If he has a chest infection he may or may not have a fever: I suppose it would be a good sign if he did have a fever as that would mean his body was trying to fight the infection, I think.

    I do hope I'm wrong about this, but I wouldn't be hesitating in your position.

    Best wishes
     
  3. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Hi Steve - so sorry you're going through this.

    I found myself nodding my head at so much of the conversation with ward staff you relate. I have had three very close family members in hospital at various times going out of my head with worry and not consoled with any of the platitudes or mixed messages I have been offered over the phone. I'm afraid I have simply turned up and refused to go away until 1) I could assess the situation for myself and 2) I got to speak to some one face to face who had done more than just come on shift and read up the notes.......

    I know too it is sometimes impossible to just drop everything else and do that.

    Will be thinking of you this evening. Please let us know how it goes,

    Love, Karen, x
     
  4. my little girl

    my little girl Registered User

    Aug 23, 2007
    35
    Burnley
    You and your family will be in my prayers

    Take care x
     
  5. dolly gee

    dolly gee Registered User

    Mar 9, 2007
    47
    merseyside
    agree with jenifer would be roud ther like a shot at dads side if he has a chest infection not to be taken lightly ie age and problems ?what kind of hospital is it dolly gee
     
  6. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Steve,
    I am sorry to hear about your dad not been well and do hope that he improves quickly. I feel that the hospital phoned you, to tell you of your dad's condition to cover their butt. In cases like a chest infection there can be a rapid decline, of which can't be predicted. So, by letting you know, there is no come back on them in case of the unthinkable happening. As for the social workers phone call, all I can say is that doesn't surprise me. Best Wishes. Taffy.
     
  7. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Steve,
    I worked for years with seriously ill and dying children, but when I was faced with a similar situation to your's I simply could not grasp what was happening.

    Some years ago, darling hubby had a very serious asthma attack and the hospital thought he would die that night. (Luckily for us all he pulled through.)

    The doctor told me I should ring nearest and dearest and let them know what was happening. "Oh", I said, "It's very late - I'll ring them tomorrow". "No my dear", replied the doctor, "you need to ring them NOW!" It took several minutes for me to realise she meant that they should be given a chance to see him before he died.

    You would think with all my experience I would have realisedwhat was meant - I've said similar things to parents myself in the past!! But the reality is, I think, when it is happening to you, you simply cannot accept emotionally the enormity of what is happening.

    I agree with others. Any suggestion that "he is doing poorly" or "I'd come soon if I were you" should be taken to mean the end is very near.

    I can only hope for you that there is a miracle recovery - as there was for my darling hubby.
     
  8. SteveS

    SteveS Registered User

    Jun 20, 2007
    41
    Altrincham, cheshire
    Hi all, and thanks for your empathy and support.

    Dad has pnuemonia - we've actually seen him rise and fall in temperature and the hospital is pumping IV antibiotics into him - they think he's coming round, but he is very poorly and wecan see this.

    At his bedside today, his breathing was a little easier - and we had a lucid conversation (ironically), although he slipped in and out of sleep, taking on a drink or two from his cup of juice. He was then shouted at by a Speech therapist who rudely explained to him that the nurses were concerned about his swallowing ability, and she wanted to assess. Mum got upset because the therapist said she could stay, but wouldn't elaborate.......I made her.

    Yes, emotionally I'm shot. Is there anything else that can be fired at me? I've really got to focus on my immediates and my job, I've phased in and out of work for nearly five months now, and I'm losing touch with it all (never mind the plot!).

    The staff have turned from "he's ready to leave" to "he needs our help now", and it's good to see the medics becoming involved for all the wrong reasons..and my distraction from the upset it's now causing us.

    Mum thinks he will die of this disease and is inconsolable at the moment (her father and mother died from Pnuemonia) she associates it with death - we all know how serious it is in the elderly, but a relative with recently diagnosed dementure, and rapid decline?:confused:

    Will keep you all posted (my mobile is always on charge for "that" call we don't want)

    S
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,896
    Kent
    Take care Steve, if you can.

    Love xx
     
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Steve, thinking of you. Pneumonia is a very serious disease in the elderly, my mum died of it following a stroke, and it's very hard to watch. I can understand your mum's distress.

    Try and stay strong, and let us know how your dad gets on.

    Love,
     
  11. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Steve

    Thoughts are with you. Sometimes the staff just can't find the right words.

    ((((((Hugs)))))))

    Mameeskye
     
  12. SteveS

    SteveS Registered User

    Jun 20, 2007
    41
    Altrincham, cheshire
    not a good day - hospital called, can i come in to talk to the Doctor.
    Dad is "critical" - they're hoping he responds to the IV drugs and the next 24/48 hours will tell.

    He was delirious and couldn't comprehend, looked really poorly and it scared me!

    Mopesed around for the rest of the day - tomorrow may be different....:(
     
  13. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Dear Steve

    I am so sorry that things aren't going well. You and your family are in my thoughts.
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,896
    Kent
    So sorry Steve.

    Love xx
     
  15. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    And it may not be .... or it may be a bit worse - or, God willing, it may be a lot better. Don't put yourself under any more pressure than you already are...... I know there are pressures of work and other things - but you know, sometimes the world just has to wait until WE are ready .....

    Sending love and best wishes ......

    Karen, x
     
  16. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    1,881
    Nr Mold
    So sorry Steve there has been another setback.

    Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you.

    Linda x
     
  17. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Take care Steve,love and best wishes to you both.love elainex
     
  18. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Steve, you're in my thoughts and prayers. Best wishes to you all.

    Love,
     

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