Hi
OK - long story cut short.... Mum is 76, has had Alzheimers for about 10 yrs, diagnosed for the last 7 approx. Dad has been caring for her 24/7 with a few odd weeks respite i the last 18 months after nagging from us for him to make sure he got time to himself.
He finally realised it was time to think about long term care for her, and last week collapsed with breathing problems and was taken to A&E - I think all a result of his decision. This meant Mum had to go into a home she'd been in before and Dad has selected for her long term.
I thought I had come to terms and done my grieving for Mum thru the past years, but this step seems to have bought everything back again with a vengeance, and I am sat here in tears typing.
The reason for this post, is I know Mum is safe and getting the best care - she has more stimulation and its for the best. But what about Dad?
Married for 54 yrs, a devoted couple. How does he come to terms with loosing her like this, away but not gone totally. Having cared 24/7 theres now a void in his life and he is so down. He can't drive as he's fallen 3 times and hurt his ankle. He can't sleep. He's got someone (family members) now caring for him 24/7 at the moment as he wasn't eating.
I live in Spain but all this in the UK.. I go back in 2 weeks when the schools go back as my sister works in a school so its harder for her to be with him then.
Any hints as to things to make it a little easier for him? We thought of taking my sisters dog up - they've looked afer it before, to make sure he has to look after it and have a bit of focus each day..... but it tears me apart to think of him hurting so badly.
OK - long story cut short.... Mum is 76, has had Alzheimers for about 10 yrs, diagnosed for the last 7 approx. Dad has been caring for her 24/7 with a few odd weeks respite i the last 18 months after nagging from us for him to make sure he got time to himself.
He finally realised it was time to think about long term care for her, and last week collapsed with breathing problems and was taken to A&E - I think all a result of his decision. This meant Mum had to go into a home she'd been in before and Dad has selected for her long term.
I thought I had come to terms and done my grieving for Mum thru the past years, but this step seems to have bought everything back again with a vengeance, and I am sat here in tears typing.
The reason for this post, is I know Mum is safe and getting the best care - she has more stimulation and its for the best. But what about Dad?
Married for 54 yrs, a devoted couple. How does he come to terms with loosing her like this, away but not gone totally. Having cared 24/7 theres now a void in his life and he is so down. He can't drive as he's fallen 3 times and hurt his ankle. He can't sleep. He's got someone (family members) now caring for him 24/7 at the moment as he wasn't eating.
I live in Spain but all this in the UK.. I go back in 2 weeks when the schools go back as my sister works in a school so its harder for her to be with him then.
Any hints as to things to make it a little easier for him? We thought of taking my sisters dog up - they've looked afer it before, to make sure he has to look after it and have a bit of focus each day..... but it tears me apart to think of him hurting so badly.