Hi Lemondrop. Some promises are made without full understanding on either side of what they will entail. They can even become humanly impossible to keep. I recognise your exhaustion in your words as have just been through the exact same scenario myself. My Mum is 93 and I have lived with her to care for her for over 2 years now. The problem with respite seems to be that the person with dementia has to agree to it (presuming they still have mental capacity). As no-one wants to willingly take themselves off to a care home and certainly not someone who is confused, forgetful and frightened, this makes things difficult to begin with. However, I would strongly advise you to try and arrange this. 2 weeks ago, after providing 24/7 care for my own Mum, I just reached the point where I could no longer carry on. I think it's the sleep deprivation that is the worst. Mum has been housebound with other medical conditions for over a year and I too have consequently, been unable to leave the flat at all for 9 months as we are managing without any carers or respite in place. I contacted SS and they arranged emergency respite for her, but that alone created another whopping great dose of stress all round which is still continuing. Have you thought of a daycare centre for your Mum? I don't know whether she is self-funding or local authority funded, because that will make a difference to how you go about arranging this. You would be able to go with her and spend time there for her first visit and in this way, may be able to persuade her to go regularly? It's very difficult, but I do know that unless you fight for your own rest and respite, you will not get any from anywhere! Sad but true. You need a break before you break. My Mum is coming home next week and by then I will have had 3 weeks break. My first in 2 years. I wish you luck in managing to sort this. Most importantly, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!! You need to be fit and well in order to care for your Mum. If you break down through lack of rest, there will be no-one to care for her anyway. If I can help in anyway, please let me know.