Tonight we have granddad's month's mind church service, it's a Catholic thing for those of you that don't know. For some reason I'm strangely nervous about this. The emotions aren't as raw as they were 4 weeks ago but it's still not easy and I'm worried that this service will bring me back to 4 weeks ago. I guess there's no point worrying about it, I won't know how I feel until it's happening and I should really use the opportunity to look back and remember granddad with a smile instead of shedding tears.