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‘Caring for a person with dementia and cancer’ - an introduction

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,732
0
Yorkshire
hello @Annakey
such a heartfelt post
I'm so glad you feel you can come here and write it all out ... I hope it's helped to write and know we will be reading, wishing we could step in to help more

cruel as this may sound, personally I believe you are doing what will end up as best for you all ... not easy for you and your family and your husband ... hopefully, if you are not at home to bolster up your husband the 'professionals' will have to step up ... you must look after yourself to have even a chance of supporting your husband

keep posting if you wish to and are able to
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
65,279
0
70
Dundee
I can only echo what Shedrech has said.

Wishing you strength and please keep posting on the forum if you can.
 

Annakey

Registered User
Oct 26, 2018
33
0
hello @Annakey
such a heartfelt post
I'm so glad you feel you can come here and write it all out ... I hope it's helped to write and know we will be reading, wishing we could step in to help more

cruel as this may sound, personally I believe you are doing what will end up as best for you all ... not easy for you and your family and your husband ... hopefully, if you are not at home to bolster up your husband the 'professionals' will have to step up ... you must look after yourself to have even a chance of supporting your husband

keep posting if you wish to and are able to
Im just desperate. I don't want to talk any more I want some one to help. I know what I need but no one is helping me achieve it. I have a counsellors appointment this afternoon - more talk - no help.
 

Playleader

New member
Dec 9, 2019
1
0
Hello I am new to this forum and would welcome any advice and support.
My mum has had dementia for a number of years and was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer about 3 years ago.
For the last week mum has been very poorly but unsure if it's a UTI, a virus, cancer or her dementia, in reality it could be a combination of all. She has been treated for the UTI, although she couldn't produce any urine so as a precaution the doc has treated her.
Mum won't eat and we have to encourage her to drink, everything we give her is too sweet and we have tried numerous offerings but she still refuses. She has lost so much weight and is more confused than ever and keeps asking the same questions ' why has this happened to me' and ' I used to have a good brain' I could scream and cry with anger, my mum, having two incurable horrible diseases.
I sit and spend time with mum, as much as I can, and try to keep all conversation light hearted, she has no idea she has cancer as she can't remember.
We are getting a visit from a Macmillan nurse tomorrow and mum will ask why? and we shall have to break the dreadful news again that she has cancer, the only good thing is she will forget but she never forgets the dementia.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,766
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Playleader

My dad had several health problems as well as his dementia to contend with and he thought he was perfectly healthy. He didn’t even know he had dementia by the end.

I wonder if it would be possible for the Macmillan nurse to be vague with your mum as to why she is visiting. Perhaps she could say it’s just a check-up as she’s feeling so unwell and not mention the cancer. I imagine these nurses must have dealt with people with dementia before and I don’t see the point of upsetting your mum when she’ll forget what she’s upset about and I can’t see it making any difference to her treatment.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,242
0
Sometimes keeping things from PWD is in their best interests
Hope you can find the right pathway for you & your Mum
X
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,749
0
Dad has dementia and cancer and has no idea why he had to see the oncologist today but he said she was very nice and he had a nice day.

The oncologist was lovely but she could see what a struggle we had just to get dad there and we have all agreed that dad no longer needs these 3 monthly appointments. If things progress then we can ring them but she is going to get dads GP to monitor him from now on.

I am glad about this.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,242
0
Dad has dementia and cancer and has no idea why he had to see the oncologist today but he said she was very nice and he had a nice day.

The oncologist was lovely but she could see what a struggle we had just to get dad there and we have all agreed that dad no longer needs these 3 monthly appointments. If things progress then we can ring them but she is going to get dads GP to monitor him from now on.

I am glad about this.
Positive news
X
 

Daisy2004

Registered User
May 29, 2016
2
0
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point’s new sub-forum ‘Caring for a person with dementia and cancer’.

I’m Mollie, a researcher from Leeds Beckett University. I recently conducted an interview study exploring the experiences, challenges and supportive needs of family carers of people with both dementia and cancer. I have now teamed up with Alzheimer’s Society to launch this online forum dedicated to dementia and cancer to help support those affected by both conditions.

This new sub-forum aims to provide carers of people with dementia and cancer with a social support network of others who understand the unique challenges they may face, and a space for them to seek practical and emotional support, and to share their own experiences.

In the coming months, we will be hosting Q&As on the sub-forum with experts in dementia and cancer, which we hope will be extremely valuable and informative for those affected by dementia and cancer.

We are piloting this area on Dementia Talking Point to see if it is helpful, and will be asking for your feedback and ideas in the form of an online survey about what elements of the sub-forum are most helpful for carers of people with both dementia and cancer and what support you would most like to see in the future.

For more information about this project and/or the sub-forum, please send me a message or comment on this thread.

Best wishes,
Mollie
Much much needed- thank you! I found very little info about this when I needed it
 

Wildly

New member
Feb 18, 2021
1
0
Your G P should help, ring the county council in your area, someone should be helping you, I feel for you, understand where you’re coming from, you’re totally tormented and need help NOW get it demand it take your husband to A&E if nobody responds!
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,732
0
Yorkshire
hello @Wildly
a warm welcome to DTP

just to let you know that the members who posted above haven't been back to DTP for a while

the situations they described have clearly resonated strongly with you .... maybe when you're ready post again about your experiences, members are supportive and will respond ... it does help to share experiences