‘Caring for a person with dementia and cancer’ - an introduction

Discussion in 'Caring for a person with dementia and cancer' started by molliep, Nov 26, 2018.

  1. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,311
    Yorkshire
    hello @Annakey
    such a heartfelt post
    I'm so glad you feel you can come here and write it all out ... I hope it's helped to write and know we will be reading, wishing we could step in to help more

    cruel as this may sound, personally I believe you are doing what will end up as best for you all ... not easy for you and your family and your husband ... hopefully, if you are not at home to bolster up your husband the 'professionals' will have to step up ... you must look after yourself to have even a chance of supporting your husband

    keep posting if you wish to and are able to
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,159
    Female
    Dundee
    I can only echo what Shedrech has said.

    Wishing you strength and please keep posting on the forum if you can.
     
  3. Annakey

    Annakey Registered User

    Oct 26, 2018
    33
    Female
    Im just desperate. I don't want to talk any more I want some one to help. I know what I need but no one is helping me achieve it. I have a counsellors appointment this afternoon - more talk - no help.
     
  4. Playleader

    Playleader New member

    Dec 9, 2019
    1
    Hello I am new to this forum and would welcome any advice and support.
    My mum has had dementia for a number of years and was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer about 3 years ago.
    For the last week mum has been very poorly but unsure if it's a UTI, a virus, cancer or her dementia, in reality it could be a combination of all. She has been treated for the UTI, although she couldn't produce any urine so as a precaution the doc has treated her.
    Mum won't eat and we have to encourage her to drink, everything we give her is too sweet and we have tried numerous offerings but she still refuses. She has lost so much weight and is more confused than ever and keeps asking the same questions ' why has this happened to me' and ' I used to have a good brain' I could scream and cry with anger, my mum, having two incurable horrible diseases.
    I sit and spend time with mum, as much as I can, and try to keep all conversation light hearted, she has no idea she has cancer as she can't remember.
    We are getting a visit from a Macmillan nurse tomorrow and mum will ask why? and we shall have to break the dreadful news again that she has cancer, the only good thing is she will forget but she never forgets the dementia.
     
  5. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,656
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Playleader

    My dad had several health problems as well as his dementia to contend with and he thought he was perfectly healthy. He didn’t even know he had dementia by the end.

    I wonder if it would be possible for the Macmillan nurse to be vague with your mum as to why she is visiting. Perhaps she could say it’s just a check-up as she’s feeling so unwell and not mention the cancer. I imagine these nurses must have dealt with people with dementia before and I don’t see the point of upsetting your mum when she’ll forget what she’s upset about and I can’t see it making any difference to her treatment.
     
  6. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,275
    Sometimes keeping things from PWD is in their best interests
    Hope you can find the right pathway for you & your Mum
    X
     
  7. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,773
    Dad has dementia and cancer and has no idea why he had to see the oncologist today but he said she was very nice and he had a nice day.

    The oncologist was lovely but she could see what a struggle we had just to get dad there and we have all agreed that dad no longer needs these 3 monthly appointments. If things progress then we can ring them but she is going to get dads GP to monitor him from now on.

    I am glad about this.
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,275
    Positive news
    X
     

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