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Thread: Casbow's Diary.

  1. #256
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    Hope you have a reasonable day today, Casbow. Thinking of you. xx

  2. #257
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyA View Post
    Hope you have a reasonable day today, Casbow. Thinking of you. xx
    I am sorry to keep on, but I can't do this much longer. What can I do with him. 12.45 and he still won't get out of bed. I cannot do anything. Done the housework. But weather not good to do gardening. Can't meet someone for lunch, or go shopping. Can't visit anyone. Even if he is up I can't do much but whenever I go in there he is so nasty. He hasn't had a drink since about 7.00 last night. Nothing to eat. How can he still lay there. Does anyone have advice. Should I just leave him to get sick. The room smells badly and he is in danger of getting sores if this goes on. This post is almost the same as I wrote before and this has being going on for at least 4 weeks. Sorry. I think I will e mail our social worker.xx

  3. #258
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    You've answerd your own question advice from another direction is needed.He can't be left and you can't physically move him there isn't another good alternative. It's so hard when emotions are involved.
    Hope you get a positive response .I'm not quite in that position yet but on a few days he doesn't or can't get up eventually he comes round but that's about 10 0 clock.Dam disease. xx

  4. #259
    Volunteer Moderator Grannie G's Avatar
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    Kent
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    Hello Casbow

    You know what you must do even though you don't seem ready to face up to it. You are no longer able to meet your husbands needs and now is the time for residential care.

    This is no reflection on you. It is mot your fault, it is the fact that the illness has become unmanageable for one person to cope with single handedly.

    Your husband needs a team to work with him, a team of people experienced in managing a person with the challenges caused by dementia. Many of us have had to make this really painful decision and I think I can safely say few of us have had cause to regret it.

    You are the only one who can decided this and all I can hope for you is once a decision has been made you will feel like a great big weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

    Sylvia

    Former Carer

    I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet

    About me

  5. #260
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    Sep 2013
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    I have made the decision for him to go into a nursing home or a care home with 24 hour nursing cover. The trouble is it all takes such a long time. I got very down when I made the decision but can't act on it. Then i think its no so bad. Then I think i can't do this anymore. What am I supposed to do. At the moment the social worker is waiting for the assessment papers before she can proceed. I find it such a roller coaster journey. I make up my mind what is best and then nothing happens and I think Oh I can manage. To be honest I can manage quite well but I am desperate for a break to get out of these four walls. Today I have arranged for 2 more hours sitting service which I will pay for without help and am happy to do so. So that is an improvement. To be honest with all the adverts on TV and on the internet, I think the whole care system is overwhelmed. There is not enough help out there. Lets all hope there will be some improvement soon.xxx

  6. #261
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    I remember that feeling well, Casbow. When things got really bad with William, and he had tried to strangle me twice, so a nursing home was no longer an "option" but a necessity for both our sakes, I did all the paperwork, the financial assessments etc. and waited. Because of cutbacks etc., it took over five months and finally the intervention of a local politician before his funding was released, and I was just lucky the nursing home were able to take him immediately. During that five months, he was in emergency respite several times, and one of those times, he was so severely dehydrated from refusing to drink at home, that he couldn't stand.

    We do our very best to care for our loved ones, but there comes a time when we simply can't do it alone, it's a job for a fully staffed unit, who can spread the load. xx

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