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  1. #1
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    New member

    Hi my name is Bobbiec. Mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Mostly short term memory problems at the moment. She is 82 . Can't really get my head around the diagnosis at the moment wanted to believe it was just her getting older. She lives just around the corner from me with my step dad.

  2. #2
    Volunteer Moderator Izzy's Avatar
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    Good morning and welcome to TP.

    I'm sorry to read about your mum's diagnosis. I know it's hard to get your head round OT all st the beginning. I'm glad you found this forum. You will find lots of help and support here. You can share concerns, ask questions or even just come on for a rant if that's what you need. Looking forward to 'seeing' you round the forum.
    Izzy
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Izzy View Post
    Good morning and welcome to TP.

    I'm sorry to read about your mum's diagnosis. I know it's hard to get your head round OT all st the beginning. I'm glad you found this forum. You will find lots of help and support here. You can share concerns, ask questions or even just come on for a rant if that's what you need. Looking forward to 'seeing' you round the forum.
    Thanks Izzy

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    Registered User cragmaid's Avatar
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    ,

    Hi Bobbie, just remember...your Mum is only a couple of days older than she was without " Dementia".... in other words she is still the same, still your forgetful little old Mum.
    The main things to concentrate on at the moment, while/if Mum still has capacity, is to discuss with her and SDad, have they got current, up to date wills, and would they consider completing the POA forms? They can now notify the LA Council Tax Dept as they should be eligible for a discount.
    At the moment, being early days, it is really just a time for research and when you do, remember that not every PWD ( Person with Dementia) gets every symptom.
    Keep in touch, there is a depth of knowledge here to be shared.
    Maureen.x.

    “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." said Christopher Robin to Pooh. ( AA Milne)

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    Welcome Bobbiec. Maureen is right - nothing really is going to change immediately. But it is important to try and get those legal things done - and while you are at it, these are things we should all have in place for ourselves too, and that's a good way to approach your mum and step-dad. That it's important not to leave these things on the long finger, so you are seeing to your own Will and appointing a Power of Attorney for yourself "just in case it was ever needed because really everyone should make sure that they themselves have some control over who takes care of things if they become so ill that they can't."

  6. #6
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    Early days

    Quote Originally Posted by Bobbiec View Post
    Hi my name is Bobbiec. Mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Mostly short term memory problems at the moment. She is 82 . Can't really get my head around the diagnosis at the moment wanted to believe it was just her getting older. She lives just around the corner from me with my step dad.
    Hi Bobbiec - I wanted to say hello as we sound like we are at a similar stage of our 'carer' journey.
    My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 weeks ago, after several months of frustrating experiences with short term memory loss. I'm ok with the diagnosis, as I could already see the symptoms.
    I don't live close so talk to him on the phone once a week (sometimes more). I'm finding that some conversations are perfectly lucid, whilst on other days he will actually have to stop mid conversation and ask who I am. Does anyone else experience this?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bobbiec View Post
    Hi my name is Bobbiec. Mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. Mostly short term memory problems at the moment. She is 82 . Can't really get my head around the diagnosis at the moment wanted to believe it was just her getting older. She lives just around the corner from me with my step dad.

    Hi Bobbie, I am new to this forum too and I feel for you - my Mum is 86 and is halfway through the diagnosis procedure with the Memory team but I am sure she has dementia - she has so many of the symptoms - memory loss, confusion, uncalled for agitation sometimes, can't deal with finances, weight loss, etc. It has been a gradual process over maybe 10 years before we got to this point of visits from the Memory team after a GP referral.

    She lives 40 miles from me and lives alone, she has carers, but just 3 x 15 minute calls a day just prepare a meal and prompt meds. She has a cleaner and a shopper once a week. She can't go out due to disability plus she is up two flights of steep stairs. All she has is her TV. I could go on.... its very hard to see when it's your Mum...so worrying. Especially when I can only visit her every few weeks...I call her most days but its getting hard to have a conversation on the phone or even in person - as she doesn't have much to say sometimes... she always says she's OK but sometimes she is tearful. She is on anti depressant Mirtazapine.

    Just wanted to say that you aren't alone, this forum is really useful, even if you don't post, lots to read and learn on here and lots of helpful people who will answer any posts. Keep your chin up.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by cragmaid View Post
    Hi Bobbie, just remember...your Mum is only a couple of days older than she was without " Dementia".... in other words she is still the same, still your forgetful little old Mum.
    The main things to concentrate on at the moment, while/if Mum still has capacity, is to discuss with her and SDad, have they got current, up to date wills, and would they consider completing the POA forms? They can now notify the LA Council Tax Dept as they should be eligible for a discount.
    At the moment, being early days, it is really just a time for research and when you do, remember that not every PWD ( Person with Dementia) gets every symptom.
    Keep in touch, there is a depth of knowledge here to be shared.
    Wow, havn't been on this since first post and just read your reply, thank you it made me cry! I do sometimes wish there hadn't been a diagnosis then she would just be my mum getting older and more forgetful ! I think the hardest part is her frustration that she cant remember like she used to and shes so cross she cant drive anymore!!She keeps getting recurrent urinary infections which doesnt help but hopefully after gyne appt and low dose antibiotics continually things may improve.
    thank you

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyA View Post
    Welcome Bobbiec. Maureen is right - nothing really is going to change immediately. But it is important to try and get those legal things done - and while you are at it, these are things we should all have in place for ourselves too, and that's a good way to approach your mum and step-dad. That it's important not to leave these things on the long finger, so you are seeing to your own Will and appointing a Power of Attorney for yourself "just in case it was ever needed because really everyone should make sure that they themselves have some control over who takes care of things if they become so ill that they can't."
    Thank you, havent been on here for ages , pleased to say legal aspect all sorted, just needed up dating .

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by HazelMouse View Post
    Hi Bobbiec - I wanted to say hello as we sound like we are at a similar stage of our 'carer' journey.
    My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 weeks ago, after several months of frustrating experiences with short term memory loss. I'm ok with the diagnosis, as I could already see the symptoms.
    I don't live close so talk to him on the phone once a week (sometimes more). I'm finding that some conversations are perfectly lucid, whilst on other days he will actually have to stop mid conversation and ask who I am. Does anyone else experience this?
    Hi HazelMouse, sorry for not responding sooner!
    How are things with you and your dad?
    I'm fortunate that mum lives just around the corner from me so I do pop in quite frequently. Biggest problem we are having is recurrent urinary tract infections which can make anybody quite bonkers!

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adnil View Post
    Hi Bobbie, I am new to this forum too and I feel for you - my Mum is 86 and is halfway through the diagnosis procedure with the Memory team but I am sure she has dementia - she has so many of the symptoms - memory loss, confusion, uncalled for agitation sometimes, can't deal with finances, weight loss, etc. It has been a gradual process over maybe 10 years before we got to this point of visits from the Memory team after a GP referral.

    She lives 40 miles from me and lives alone, she has carers, but just 3 x 15 minute calls a day just prepare a meal and prompt meds. She has a cleaner and a shopper once a week. She can't go out due to disability plus she is up two flights of steep stairs. All she has is her TV. I could go on.... its very hard to see when it's your Mum...so worrying. Especially when I can only visit her every few weeks...I call her most days but its getting hard to have a conversation on the phone or even in person - as she doesn't have much to say sometimes... she always says she's OK but sometimes she is tearful. She is on anti depressant Mirtazapine.

    Just wanted to say that you aren't alone, this forum is really useful, even if you don't post, lots to read and learn on here and lots of helpful people who will answer any posts. Keep your chin up.
    Thanks Adnil, I am fortunate that mum lives just around the corner so we can pop in regularly and my step dad is there too.
    It sounds as though your mum has a good support system in place but I do understand how you feel especially as you live away

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