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  1. #1
    New User
    Join Date
    Jan 2017

    Farther with early stages of dementia

    Hi all

    Iím new to this forum so apologies if Iím not clear or tend to un load. My farther suffered a stroke late last year. He has been diagnosed with hydrocephalus and vascular dementia.

    He is at home with his partner caring for him. We have arranged for a career to come in Monday Ė Friday for 3 hours a day. Which takes the ease off his partner.

    She has been coping relatively well. I live quite a distance away so once a week I drive down and spend sometime with him.

    We are learning on our feet as to how to care for someone with dementia.

    He is not accepting there is a problem so heís not taking on board a lot of the advice from doctors / social services. From the stroke he is immobile so canít really travel any distance.

    One of the biggest issues we have hit recently is his urinary incontinence. I believe this is common with hydrocephalus, but is it also common with dementia? Anyone hit a similar problem? Any advice on how to get him to accept this and other issues? I understand he finds it hard to deal with the reality but his partner is struggling with this issue. Iím not sure if he is forgetting this is an issue or if heís not able to face up to it.

    Any advice much appreciated.

  2. #2
    Volunteer Moderator Cat27's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Volunteer Moderator & former carer.

    Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.... Maya Angelou.

  3. #3
    Registered User cragmaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    North East England
    Hello. As you will see from the fact sheets, incontinence can and often is a problem with dementia.
    Ask your Dad's GP for a referral to the Incontinence Nurse/Service connected to the practice. They should be able to advise on products.

    ďYou are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." said Christopher Robin to Pooh. ( AA Milne)

  4. #4
    Volunteer Host Shedrech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    hello Carl2000
    a warm welcome to TP
    there are many members here who have similar experiences and share on their threads, so do have a mooch around as there's lots of info here, and on the main AS site where all the factsheets are (see the button pretty much at top tight of this page = AS resources)
    did you have an assessment of your dad's care needs by his Local Authority Adult Services - if not do contact them - and ask for a carer's assessment for his partner - more support may be available, though if your dad is self funding, it will be paid for through his finances
    as cragmaid says, also check with his GP's surgery as many have an continence nurse who can advise you
    and do keep the GP & consultant updated with any changes in your dad's situation
    maybe there's an Admiral Nurse in your area to call in, if not try their helpline

    sadly, your dad's brain has been compromised and he is no longer able to rationalise the way he used to, so he isn't able to take in his situation and 'accept' it or 'face up' to it; it's the carers who are left to do that gradually - as you say, it's a case of learning as you go, so I'm glad you found TP as there's support and thoughtful advice available here all the time - might your dad's partner benefit from joining us too?

    a few practical points - I hope you have
    applied for Attendance Allowance
    contacted their Council for a disregard of your dad's council tax, so that his partner is assessed as a single person
    organised Powers of Attorney for both your dad and his partner so that someone has the legal authority to support in looking after their affairs, and take over if necessary

    best wishes to you all
    And all shall be well and
    All manner of thing shall be well
    Julian of Norwich & T S Eliot


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