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  1. #16
    Volunteer Host Shedrech's Avatar
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    Dec 2012
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    hello paisley pattern
    such sad news - my condolences to you, your mum and your family
    as you say, your dad is at peace - I hope your mum finds some peace for herself too
    best wishes to you both
    And all shall be well and
    All manner of thing shall be well
    Julian of Norwich & T S Eliot

  2. #17
    Registered User
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    Aug 2015
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    I am so sorry for your loss. Please look after yourself at this difficult time.

  3. #18
    Registered User
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    Aug 2016
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    Bedfordshire
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    Sorry to hear of your sad loss x take care xxx

  4. #19
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    Apr 2013
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    Scotland
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    That is so quick PP. it seems no time since I answered your post. At least your Dad went before you all became overwhelmed by his decline. Sad to lose a good father.

  5. #20
    Registered User
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    Nov 2015
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    I am so sorry for your loss,as you say at least he is now at peace. Take care of yourself and hope your Mum will be okay too.

  6. #21
    Registered User
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    Nov 2014
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    Thank you everyone for your kind words.

  7. #22
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    Sep 2015
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    28

    How to Tackle This !!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by digmclaren2015 View Post
    Hi all,

    Reading your post below is like a carbon copy of what we are going through only it's my mom not dad. Mom got diagnosed on Wed with mixed dementia and a clot to the brain. Mom is in denial and refuses (at this point) to receive any help from either family or the big bad outside world. My dad is her registered carer but he is not in the best of health either after having a heart attack back in April. Seeing my dad on Friday, i can see that my dad is close to breaking point. i have spoken to social services today and they are going to convince mom to accept help, but her defences are so strong. my mom is in her 80's and is what I would describe as old school, i.e. outside help means men in white coats and a nice padded room for one.

    The part that i struggle with is how to help someone when their own head tells them they are absolutely fine. I worry about my date in equal measure, as i know the stress won't be doing his heart any good either.

    Any advice you guys can offer would be so appreciated.
    I totally know where your coming from, I think that it must be a generation thing, also its common for total denial !!!!. Do you have a close friend to your parents that could pop round when your in and all of you have a lovely chat, I know that its hard when you cannot even discuss health in general and even enquire if everything is in order.!!!
    Could you suggest that it would be a great help if someone would be able to pop in and help with the housework, small steps to start with.

    I too have the same problem with my Mother, she is 83 and again in total denial, I'm still struggling to get her to the doctors, it took me 9 months she went saw a different doctor who tried a memory test and she walked out stating that she want mental !!!! we are still no further forward and things are getting far worse so it looks like I'm waiting for a crisis to happen. 4 steps forward and 10 back in my case.

    This is such a fantastic site for support, I value it very much.

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