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  1. #1
    Registered User choccy's Avatar
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    Jul 2011

    is this abuse, innapropriate or acceptable?

    This evening while visiting Dad I witnessed something that made me feel uneasy and a little upset.

    There's a resident (I'll call her Mary), who is very elderly and I would hazard a guess to say she has quite severe dementia. Mary is physically able to shuffle about but is very hunched over and her little eyes are very wrinkled and I think this affects her vision as I've often redirected her away from imminent walls etc.

    I was behind her with Dad while she was shuffling down the corridor, hunched over, head down.
    a young female carer was walking towards Mary, Mary couldn't see her, I don't think she hears well either. The carer then blew very hard into Mary's ear, for no reason whatsoever and suggested they have a race.
    It frightened Mary. She made a loud whimpering noise, the carer laughed and just walked right past her, no regard for Mary's journey down the corridor, no patience while she shuffled on whimpering.

    It made me feel I needed to protect Mary, so I helped her on her journey and she used my arm to steady herself.

    Am I being silly? I feel like reporting it.
    I've also seen this same carer totally ignore residents when they've spoken to her while she was supposed to be supervising them in the garden. She just sat on a wall texting, looking up every now and again.

    These are the only things in 6 months that I've seen that I felt wrong and both with the same carer. I visit every other day at various times.

    Opinions please x
    I know what I'm going to do..... I just haven't found out yet!

  2. #2
    Registered User TinaT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    i would mention this to the care home manager. Most probably she is already aware that this particular carers behaviour is not suited to the job.

    Your information would help the manager to compile evidence for any action the care home management take. There are very formal and strict rules regarding disciplinary procedures and information on what you witnessed will certainly help.

    Last edited by TinaT; 04-05-2012 at 09:27 PM.
    If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything....

  3. #3
    Volunteer Moderator sue38's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
    Wigan, Lancs
    Whilst I've seen carers having a joke with residents, there is a world of difference from having a joke at a resident's expense, and to me demonstrates a lack of respect.

    This 'carer' seems to be in the wrong job, and I would share your concerns with the manager.

    Carer and Volunteer Moderator

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  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    I would say absolutely, this should be reported. It is abuse, frightening a little old lady. It makes my blood boil when i hear of mis treatment of the elderly and i would have said something to her. She shouldnt be in the job if shes treating people with no respect and i wouldnt hesitate in reporting it to the CH manager. Its disgusting the way some of these so called "carers" treat their residents. Absolutely report it, i would be shouting it from the roof tops if necessery to make sure she doesnt do it again. When my dad first went in to care i went to visit for the first time and as i walked along the corridor i could see a man and a woman knocking lumps out of one another. I panicked thinking they were both going to get hurt, there were no staff around. The woman then got her hand caught in the door and was screaming her head off. I eventually found a nurse and told him what was going on, he laughed and said to me "oh theyre always like that" and walked away. I phoned the CH manager the next morning and reported it i was so angry. Not only that he had ignored it but the fact that he laughed. Its not acceptable that staff have such a nonchalont attitude when working with vulnerable, frail people.

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    England and Scotland
    I would be tempted to sneak up on this girl while she's texting her mates and shout "Boo!" loudly in her ear, then laugh at her. Grrrrrr, this makes me so angry. She is a bully and she'll go on doing these things to amuse herself. And, as with all bullies, her behaviour may escalate. If she has a mobile phone on the go while she is supposed to be working she might be taking pictures of residents which would be an abuse of their privacy. Please report her - she doesn't deserve her job.

  6. #6
    New User
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Absolutely. Report her.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Slap her and report her, this is NOT right.

  8. #8
    Registered User Redwitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Horsham, West Sussex
    I agree with Luau, asmy Mum is about to move into care home, I would hope that her carers treat her with dignity and respect. Sadly many carers are paid NMW and are treated quite badly by society. We care for our vulnerable and elderly relatives but due to cut backs the barest minimum is paid to protect them

    Trying my hardest to be a good daughter...[SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    Volunteer Host
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    totally agree. Why are things acceptable when dealing with elderly people when they are not acceptable when dealing with children?? Why??! My dau works in childcare (a Community based childcare setting, so Govt. funded to an extent) and none of the staff are allowed to have their mobile phones in the rooms with them when they are working - because (a) they need to have their focus on the children and (b) the management need to be sure of no photos of the children inadvertently being taken and put on FB - like if the staff were taking pics of each other, and children were in the background. If child protection is so important, why not extend the same protection to vulnurable adults?

  10. #10
    Volunteer Moderator Grannie G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Unacceptable behaviour.


    Former Carer

    I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet

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  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    South Yorkshire
    Outrageous !!! Report her please !!

    Val x

  12. #12
    Registered User 2jays's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    West Midlands
    It's the same as the case of that care worker giving the resident a dog biscuit.... Totally unacceptable.
    To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone - Reba McEntire
    If only it was that easy - 2jays

  13. #13
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Brisbane Australia
    Most definately report her, it is bullying and I HATE bullies
    missing what has gone and scared of what is to come

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    It makes me so angry when i hear theese stories.If it were me i would report this bully straight away . She has no respect for elderly people and therefore should not be in that job.Please report her to Manager straight as you may stop this happening to others.


  15. #15
    Volunteer Moderator Izzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    I totally agree. This is disgraceful and she should be reported.
    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator


    Ca canny but ca awa.


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