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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2011

    New to site, so sad tonight

    Hi, I'm new to site, my father has alzheimers and demenatia,
    He lives with me ,I'm his carer. what a nasty desease this is, God does do some bad things, this is one of the biggest,
    He has had a bad night, 3 am he got up ,I thought he was getting dressed, as he does
    So I also got up went to see if he was o.k.
    he did'nt reconized his own bed and wanted to know were he was,
    why does god do thing like this,
    I have tears running down my cheeks ,as Im writing this.
    I Can you imagine if he was in a care home, and this happened ,
    So So SAD
    GOD why do you let thing's happen like this
    If there is a GOD, please take him into your arm's
    As this would be the best thing for him. as it is destroying me , to see him going through this horrible desease,

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Brisbane Australia
    This is indeed a horrible disease.
    Are you looking after your Dad on your own? Do you have any support? It is a hard (some would say nigh on impossible) to do all by yourself.
    To be honest if your Dad were in a care home someone would be around all the time day and night.
    I do feel for you. I can only send a hug, I have no experience of your problem. It does sound as if you need some support though. Someone will be along soon with advice. Just wanted to let you know I am here.
    missing what has gone and scared of what is to come

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2011

    Re. Nanak

    Dear nanak, thanks for your reply,
    Yes I 'm sole carer for my dad, I have no brothers or sisters.
    I do have lots of friends , but all my family are abroad mainly,
    Thanks again for you time and hug

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    looked after my mum full time 5 yrs till recently
    many times wake up middle of the night and leave the home
    or wander round flat until fell over i learned to look front door

    but you need understand the disease is progressive at same point my mum just starting sleeping the whole night through she become less confused because she had forgotten that she had forgotten they start to live in the ever living present and arequite happy

    its harder for us but much less stressful for them

    hope helps a little

  5. #5
    Registered User sonia owen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Weston-Super-Mare North Somerset
    I hope you are feeling much better today. I hope you are having some support from your local Alzheimers Support group if you have one near by.You need someone to chat to about what is happening with your Dad right noe. It would certainly be a great help for you understanding this horrible illness will help you throught this journey.

    Sending you a big hug and a bag full of smiles for today.
    Take care
    Love Sonia xxxxx

  6. #6
    Volunteer Moderator Izzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Have you had a carer's assessments and a needs assessment for your dad? It sounds like you have no help. If not I would really urge you to phone SW and ask for these. Take care. X
    Former Carer and Volunteer Moderator


    Ca canny but ca awa.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2011

    Welcome but sorry you have had to come here because your dad has AD.

    Everything that has been written above is very sound advice. You need some help and it is available to you but you have to ask. As your dad appears to need round the clock care you would be entitled to the higher rate of Attendance Allowance so it would enable you to pay for some additional aid at night, if if not every night.

    Please get some help - as others have recommended - and let us know how you get on.

    You are never alone here

  8. #8
    New User
    Join Date
    Mar 2012

    You are not alone

    Dear IMSOSAD

    I had tears too as I read your posting. Caring for a loved one with this dreadful disease is both exhausting and isolating. Unfortunately nobody has a magic wand and it is overwhelming- personally I know that things always seem worse when I am tired/exhausted.

    There is help out there - although it can be patchy and confusing. One of the most useful things I read was a directory that you can access via - I'm not telling you what you should do - but if you find this as helpful as I did then then it may just help you deciding what the next priority on this awful journey is.

    As dementia is progressive, looking into the future no doubt fills you with dread, but it may be helpful in the future to remember what your Dad CAN do now, rather than what he can't. One of my happiest memories is watching my Mum running childlike laughing her demented laugh. She died in January having suffered with dementia for 10long years.

    It is obvious that you love your Dad and that you are one of many thousands of unsung (and isolated) heros/ heroines. You WILL get through this.

    I am thinking of you.

    Paul x


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