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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Middlesbrough, England

    Try to be careful of time.

    Time, and Time spent with our loved ones can induce terrible mixed feelings of satisfaction and guilt.
    I have learned that Time is meaningless, in the sense that when we are entering the world of Dementia then time counts for nothing.
    Sometimes I have visited Mam for 2 hours at a time, and yet been floored by anxieties caused by misunderstood agitations etc. It seemed a slog.
    And then looked at another visit and recalled a brief slice of time, maybe just a second or two,where a smile of recognition, a wink, a hug counted more than any amount of time put in.
    It was guilt that drove this, nothing else, that relentless feeling that no matter what, it was never enough.
    Now Im more careful of what time means, and to allow compassion to shine through. It took some Time though..... stephen xx

  2. #2
    Registered User hollycat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    100 % agree and think this should also refer to pre-dementia time !

    However, it DOESN'T.

    For example, our elders judge how long it is since we have last seen them. Without pointing a finger at any particular job, the number of times I have heard the words "the family ONLY visit for one hour a day/month/year" etc etc.

    Has Britain got too fast ? We appear to be very conscious of TIME, which is why I agree 100% with your post. A 5 second smile can feel like a day when caring for a loved one, however, I feel it is really sad that society unfortunately does not see it that way
    Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value" Albert Einstein

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    May 2011
    I can completely get this post.

    When I had a 'normal' job (and life) back in Glasgow everything was very fast - timetabled to the school run, job, lunchtime shopping, working, Sunday outings.
    Since we moved down to Cornwall and do a farming life, everything is run round the farm and the seasons.
    Right now we are very busy - I was lambing last night and we had 6 sets of doubles and I had to resussitate a lamb - very satisfying. Moving from shed to shed, I still had the time to stop and look at the stars and think about how lucky we are with the weather (its perfect for lambing).
    I came home at midnight - the kids had baked some cake for us coming in. I count my blessings every day and always make time to kiss my husband and talk to my children. I mean really talk - and listen.
    Time is so precious - it slips like sand through your fingers. It seems like only a couple of months since I did lambing last year.....Im getting old, but Im glad to say I have no regrets and make the time to have a quality of life.
    When I see mum she wants to talk about the past - she likes to live in that time - its happier for her, so I get the photo album out and we look back. I dont need to tell her all the **** thats going on in the world - she wants to live in the 1950's when she was very pretty and had a party life.
    Not my choice of life, but Im happy to make her happy.


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