Hello. My 86yr old MIR has been diagnosed for a year with Alzheimers - now at moderate stage. She lives in independent living and loves it there. A very independent person who loves to get out and about Ė always able to find her way home ... so far. But Mum now needs help from carers at times each day. Unfortunately she flatly refuses any help as she doesnít think there is anything wrong with her.
Her community nurse says that we must have her approval for help, however Mum will not agree to it and she is becoming very agitated and sometimes aggressive, due to her frustrations. We are pretty sure she knows that something is wrong but is in denial, although she has said that she hopes that I would tell her if something major was wrong. To date we tell her that her short term memory isnít very good now.
My fear is that if we canít make her life easier for her with care help then she will quickly get to the point where she cannot cope in her home and a move to a care home will be forced on her. And at this stage it doesnít bare thinking about whilst she is so active.
If she was told about her condition then although the shock would be devastating for her it might help her (if only briefly) to understand the need for carers to help her remain in her current home.
I feel that she has a right to know her destiny however painful. Moving to a home at this stage would be unbearably painful for her.
The Community Nurse still thinks we must bide our time to tell Mum but I fear that time is not on our side. All this frustration and anger cannot be doing mum any good.
Does anyone have any suggestions or opinions in this sort of situation?