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  1. #1
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    Won't get dressed

    My mum has been in a care home since last October and settled in quite well after a tricky start. Trouble is that for the last few weeks she has got into the habit of staying in her pyjamas and dressing gown all day.
    She says her knees hurt ( she has arthritis) and wants to stay in bed but then she does get up and goes to the communal rooms. The staff say they can't force her to dress and she is very stubborn. Any suggestions?
    Thanks

  2. #2
    Registered User cragmaid's Avatar
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    Pick your battles..... or, in other words, does this really matter as long as she is covered.
    Could you try getting her some leisure suits ( soft track suits) that she can wear either in bed or as daywear?
    Maureen.x.

    “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." said Christopher Robin to Pooh. ( AA Milne)

  3. #3
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    The carers have seen it all before and if she's comfortable It's not an issue. What about 'loungewear'. Supermarkets do a range of casual, snuggley tops and bottoms with wider legs, which won't rub her poor knees, .....and as cheap as chips so worth a go. Mum used to talk about a film called 'Woman in a Dressing Gown', never seen it but to 'slob about' all day and feel comfy is something I aspire to.

  4. #4
    Registered User cragmaid's Avatar
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    "Woman in a Dressing Gown".... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051204/ apparently starred Anthony Quale and Sylvia Syms made in ...Gasp Shock Horror..... that's 60 years ago!!!!! 1957.

    Speaking as someone who can do all her housework before getting dressed around about lunchtime, unless I'm going out of course, tracksuits are the way forward!!
    Maureen.x.

    “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." said Christopher Robin to Pooh. ( AA Milne)

  5. #5
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    I find getting dressed is a daily struggle, and I've decided that it is because I don't like the preceding ablutions, with cool air on wet skin. I recently had a holiday in a hot country and took 2 showers a day with pleasure.

    I agree with previous posters. As long as your mum is decently clad then PJs or loungewear is quite suitable. It depends on whether her nightwear is revealing or not warm enough.

    However, she does need to wash, so perhaps the carers could swap out nightwear for stretchy daywear when they are helping her to shower or bathe.

    It's good in a way that your mum feels at home. In the early months in the CH my MIL would keep getting dressed in the night to 'go home', even refusing to take her shoes off in bed. It's only after 2 years that she wears slippers during the day. She used to do that in her own house but didn't feel it was appropriate in a 'public place'.

  6. #6
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    Recently bought mum an entire new wardrobe. Thankfully she's still open to 'me' giving her ideas and prompts. Sometimes when I've turned I pull out a new set of clothes and gently ask her to change - which she does.

    As the others say, is it important? No. She's dressed and comfortable, for me that's all I would want. When she gets to the stage can't dress herself - I'll be wondering myself and my gentle nudge may be a little more assertive and I'll still pull out her clothes for her to wear if we are going out for the day. The carers are so used to this, they don't bat an eyelid, we see it more personally, mum, dad, aunt, uncle etc.
    Spike Milligan's epitaph 'I told you I was ill'

  7. #7
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    Thanks for your replies. I guess I shouldn't worry although she is also refusing to bath or shower so not sure what will happen there! She has lots of clothes, doesn't recognise the newer ones bought after she lost weight, perhaps that is the problem. Also my sister says mum thinks she is dressed properly once she has got out of bed and into a lounge i.e. she'd forgotten she's in pyjamas.

  8. #8
    Registered User Kevinl's Avatar
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    There's 2 women I see most days who refuse to wear anything but nightclothes most of the time and I've seen the relatives moaning at the staff about this, but what can they do?
    They're not allowed to force anyone to do anything and most of the staff are pretty good at persuading the residents to do things but they have to do this with ones who won't eat, take medication, quite a few who won't wear shoes the list is endless.
    The staff don't like it either as it can create a bad impression when potential new customers are being shown round or the doctors or social services are in the building. People take their kids to school and go shopping in their nightclothes these days according to the Daily Mail, maybe they're just trying to be fashionable
    K
    If you're going through hell, keep going

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevinl View Post
    People take their kids to school and go shopping in their nightclothes these days according to the Daily Mail, maybe they're just trying to be fashionable
    K
    Yes we've a few supermarkets now with signs outside stating no nightwear lol I've seen it myself at 3pm and they are still in a nightie, dressing gown and slippers in a supermarket.
    Spike Milligan's epitaph 'I told you I was ill'

  10. #10
    Registered User Risa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kevinl View Post
    People take their kids to school and go shopping in their nightclothes these days according to the Daily Mail, maybe they're just trying to be fashionable
    K
    LOL this reminds me of my late friend. She won an acting award and when I saw the photos and admired her dress, she revealed it was actually a long nightie! She knew the award ceremony/after party was going to be a long-winded affair so she decided she may as well be comfy

    Primrose19 - if your Mum isn't agreeable to having a full shower/bath, are the carers able to use wipes to keep her clean? There are a lot of very good products on the market now which keep someone clean (thank goodness as my Mum is now fearful of water).
    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
    Samuel Beckett

  11. #11
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    When I married in '71, my bridesmaids wore matching nighties from Dorothy Perkins!
    The photos still look great!!

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