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  1. #1
    New User
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    Apr 2017
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    My dad was diagnosed when I was 15-worried about genetics

    This is quite a selfish post but I feel it's probably the best place to say it. I obviously care very much for my dad, he was diagnosed when he was about 52. It is tough, especially as my sister and I are at uni and we have the guilt a lot of you guys on here feel. I don't want to worry anyone and there's no definitive answers to this, but does anyone else worry that they're also going to get it? My dad has been genetically screened and both tests came back negative, but I know that can mean there's a gene he has passed on they just don't know links to the disease. I think there's such a thing as knowing too much.. I do neuroscience at uni which probably makes me a bit of a hypochondriac. I don't really know what I'm asking for - maybe just knowing I'm not the only one who worries about this stuff. Again I don't want to make people anxious, just because we have parents with dementia doesn't mean we will get it, I'm just a huge worrier.

  2. #2
    Volunteer Host Shedrech's Avatar
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    Dec 2012
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    hi PhilippaL
    I doubt if this thought hasn't popped into the head of every carer at some point, whether or not related by blood to the person they care for and about
    I'm older than your dad and know that there has been Alzheimer's in the family, other than my dad - but my dad's is a big family and some one of us has had pretty much anything you can name - maybe that makes it easier for me to not give it much thought - that and I just can't live my life wondering what may happen when there's so much to do to deal with what is happening - and, actually, too much to look forward to despite the cloud dementia tries to glower over everything - I feel if I let myself worry then I let dementia take that bit of my mind; and it's taken enough by stealing away my dad, so it's not having any part of me if I can help it
    I agree, sometimes an individual can know too much - your dad's screening came back negative; that's pretty clear - who knows what links will or won't be found, and most are indicators of a greater 'risk', none really say 'you will for definite'
    there have been members who've written about this, so a search may find what they thought
    I hope writing your post has got this concern off your chest - and with a lighter heart you can have a good night's sleep
    best wishes
    And all shall be well and
    All manner of thing shall be well
    Julian of Norwich & T S Eliot

  3. #3
    Registered User
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    May 2014
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    London
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    "No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen."

    You are very young - way too young to worry about an illness you may never get. You might get cancer instead. Or not. You might get run over by a bus tomorrow. Or you'll die in your sleep at 101 years old. To quote Doc Brown: The future isn't written yet. They might find a cure for dementia way before you are old enough to get it. Life is unpredictable. You see, there are two kinds of worries - worries you can do something about and worries you can't. This falls into the latter category, and if you let it dominate your life, sooner or later it will crush you. If you can't let go of those worries, try and get some counselling - cognitive behaviour therapy is good. You can learn how to keep worries at bay and concentrate on the good things in your life.
    Just keep swimming!

  4. #4
    New User
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    Apr 2017
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    Thank you so much for all your replies. Sometimes a bit of reassurance is all I need - I know I'm being silly to worry about this sort of stuff so early. Rang the doctor today and getting referred for some counselling so hopefully that will help. Your replies did make me feel better this morning, thanks again x


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  5. #5
    New User
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    Oct 2016
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    4
    Hi,

    My mum was diagnosed at 55 and I can say this has crossed my mind. I've almost wanted to be tested myself, before thinking about marriage and children as if I was to have it I would hate to put my partner and my own children through this. I feel very selfish for thinking like that but it is a massive concern. My nana also has it at 90 but she is my dads side. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks this.

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    81
    This crosses my mind a lot. My dad was diagnosed in his 50s and probably had it 5-6 years before that. His mother and aunt also had dementia.
    I also worry because my mum died at 60 and her mum at 62 (both unrelated to dementia).

    I don't know if I'll do genetic testing. I am mindful that thinking about it whilst being unable to do anything about it will just make me anxious.

    If I get to the point where I consider having a family, I'll probably revisit the idea of genetic testing.

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