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  1. Rachael81

    She wasn't just my mum, lost my best friend.

    In my foggy headedness I hadn't thought of it like this, thank you.
  2. Rachael81

    She wasn't just my mum, lost my best friend.

    On Tuesday my mum passed away after a major stroke. As she'd had TIAs which had lead to her dementia I knew this was likely at some point. Not started to call extended family yet - don't know how to do it over the phone - I've told a dear friend of my mums face-to-face but being able to hold...
  3. Rachael81

    Mums major stroke will on honeymoon

    She passed away at 9pm last night before we could get back to say our goodbyes.
  4. Rachael81

    Mums major stroke will on honeymoon

    With a history of TIAs we knew a major was almost inevitable, but 10 days after our wedding and a week into our honeymoon sucks! Told by the doctor at 6am Canadian time she probably won't last until Friday when we're due to return so doing anything possible to get back from Vancouver to UK...
  5. Rachael81

    Attitude from care service manager

    Frustrated at poor attitude of the manager of the care provider in understanding what dementia is and how Mum can be up and down in impairment but needs to be checked to be clean, fed and fully dressed. Apparently they can't force her to do things if she says "no thanks" they have to respect...
  6. Rachael81

    Younger carer

    Hi acaves, Feel for you as there's quite a few parallels between us: • I'm not much older than you at 36 • My mums got vascular dementia too • I still work full time • I have no siblings to support me • I see what carers neglect to do (yesterday it was make sure mum ate!) I don't...
  7. Rachael81

    Fuming

    These are carers going into mum's own home rather than her being in a care home, but thanks for the tip about making sure everything is in writing and keeping records - I verbally reported my concerns earlier this week and so writing will seem like escalation - and be cathartic for me!
  8. Rachael81

    Fuming

    Within the last 2 weeks we've started having LA carers go round to mums twice a day and a passing comment from one made me realise they weren't aware if her dementia diagnosis despite it being part of her care pack. I called their office and spoke to a manager about my concerns who said she'd...
  9. Rachael81

    Big social event

    Any tips on dealing with PWD in big social occasions? I get married a week on Saturday and I'm worried about mum during the day (20 of us) but mainly at night with 150 guests. There'll be some of my mums cousins who'll want to chat with her but I don't think know about her dementia or if...
  10. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    Time obsessed yet can't read the time Mums latest thing is needing to know the time, but yet can't read it either analogue or digital. Not only is the constant "what time is it?" "are we going to be late?" draining it means that she's getting up in the middle of the night thinking it's morning...
  11. Rachael81

    My dad has been diagnosed with vascular dementia

    Hi Miss Cathy, It was more of a relief when I heard that my mum had vascular dementia about 16 months ago as we'd known she hadn't been right since a mini stroke or TIA a year earlier. It's incredibly tough and hard to advise what to do or where to start, each patient is different and each...
  12. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    Crepey skin after water retention is going Between tablets, leg elevation and massage we seem to have the fluids moving in the right direction rather than building up in mums legs, as it's been building for around a month her skin has stretched and now is very crepey as skin elasticity...
  13. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    Hen party success Today was my Hen party and being surrounded by family and friends was lovely, my aunt and mum's cousin spent some quality time with mum so I could sit and chat to others - gave me confidence that they'll be there to help on the day. Not looking forward to getting ready on...
  14. Rachael81

    My Mu is getting worse and I can't cope with her toileting problems.... :(

    Sorry I can't offer an advise or tips, only empathy - my mum won't wear them unless I put them on for her and will happily keep them on until they are dripping due to saturation. She says she doesn't need them but yet I've twice had to clear puddles up and had to strip her bed and that's just...
  15. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    She's on daily senna and I'm unsure of her bowel movements. By her blood being like treacle she's obviously dehydrated and the blood thinners (apixaban) isn't working? It's all in her legs though, the water retention has made them too heavy for her to lift and move. Took 3 members of...
  16. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    Found Mum on the floor again this morning, but much more confused and hadn't got a clue how she'd got there - not even sat up. Me and HTB managed to get her up, got her to the loo and back to her chair. Phoned NHS direct and an ambulance is on its way for us. Over the last couple of days...
  17. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    Smashing time! Mum smashed her glass of squash yesterday evening... another thing to buy is a plastic sippy cup with handles! For the second night in a row I've been on my hands and knees wiping the bathroom floor to free it of wee puddles as she's not left enough time. As she forgets to use...
  18. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    I thought these only chopped them not ground them to a powder - will look at investing in one, thanks!
  19. Rachael81

    Coping (just about)

    Crushing pills tips? When doing the breakfast visit this morning I found her on the living room floor wearing yesterday's clothes, she couldn't remember how long she'd been there but I suspect all night. Luckily she'd not fallen but had got there of her own free will, just couldn't get back up...
  20. Rachael81

    Issues with having bathroom converted!

    I wish my mum's LA would entertain the idea of converting hers, they keep saying a strip wash is sufficient - I'd like to know how many of them would be happy doing that long term?