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    Newcomer here

    Don’t apologise for your rant I had a family who have just been exactly like yours. I had two sisters I myself am terminally ill and they left my father of 78 and myself to do everything for mum yes she had carers but she was dying and we were told she had less than a year last November she died...
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    Mum phones me and cries down the phone

    I know this is probably not the reply you want but maybe it’s time to think about a home where they may have some technics to dealing with sundown. My mother never done this so I am not much of a help here. But if it’s not possible for her to be at her own home maybe it’s time for a home. Good luck
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    It's not dementia killing me, it's exhaustion....

    Louise you are so right about the care system it is broken. The reason the system is broken is because we have people who go to the doctor wanting paracetamol and other drugs that cost less to buy until we stop giving stupid things I am sure we could save a lot of money another reason we...
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    Dementia: Lead on the evening news

    Yes the caring part for a loved one dying from Alzheimer’s is terrible I can’t tell you how bad it was with my mother who I only lost in August but you know I done my best for her and it was an honour to be the person who helped feed her as she was particularly about that. But I am shocked about...
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    What shall I do?

    I think the distract method sounds quite good we never experienced this with my mother as she was diagnosed and died in 4 years. But we often felt that mum thought that she was younger than she was and sometimes she would look at people funny and you would have to tell her who it was. I know...
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    Oh Dear I give up with the Invisible BIL

    Oh I am happy to see that I am not the only person who has insensitive relatives who do nothing pop maybe twice a year then criticises everything that you have done for your loved one. Devoting you’re life caring for them until they pass on. I know they have dam cheek.
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    Does visiting ever get any easier?

    I totally understand why you’re mum is asking you when she is going home as her main carer you are the person she recognises the most. My dad and I were in the same position with my mother where she knew who dad and I were where as my other sisters didn’t visit hardly ever and then they wonder...
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    Weight loss?

    Hi I understand what you are concerned about but basically yes this weight loss is perfectly normal in the later stages. I just lost my mum in August and I was at the stage where I was giving her drinks and custard via a syringe. Unfortunately it only gets harder sorry to say. You can only do...
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    No more tears........

    So sorry to hear that you’re mum has passed. But I felt the same way on the 25th August when my mum too passed I felt relief that her suffering was over don’t feel guilty you have done your best. I have had problems crying for my mother but it will come like yourself we have been grieving for...
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    Planning Christmas Day

    I can see why you are anxious about Christmas Day and all those happy family adverts are ****. It’s not all happy families I don’t know if you are doing this all by yourself but if you are then good on you you are doing your best to support your father. I know it must be upsetting listening to...
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    Dad just never wants to go to bed at night.

    Hi there my mother suffered from Alzheimer’s disease but I myself am terminally ill with lung disease. If you’re father doesn’t have any home oxygen it can lead to hypoxia which is a lack of oxygen which in turn can lead to mental confusion. I would be pushing very hard for his oxygen...
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    Tired out.

    Hi have you though about getting carers in it sounds like you need a help after seven years you have done wonderful my mother only survived four years and ten months. I think you need a break I know it’s okay me saying take a break we never took a break until mum was dying and had nursed her for...
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    Moving to care home today

    Hi I would imagine if you were unhappy with a care home that it would be your right to move him to another home I don’t see why not even if it’s paid for by social work it’s your loved one and remember they don’t mean what they say to you no matter how much it hurts. I know it’s very difficult...
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    Picking a care home for future need

    Hi there I can understand your situation but it is important to choose a home now if that’s what you are planning when Pauline’s condition deteriorated. In Scotland we are lucky because if someone is living in the home then they cannot sell the property for fees. I really feel for you that...
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    I need someone to talk to

    Hi I understand what you are saying my mother wanted my father all the time and myself. It is very frustrating because you don’t know what they are saying to you and you are having to guess. It’s very difficult but if you are by yourself you desperately need a break we had carers and we still...
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    Worried how hubby and mum will cope while I'm out

    Hi you need a break and don’t feel guilty about it. We never took a break for eight months and look what happened to a very close family give them some of the load because I can tell you when things get worse you will need a break
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    Alzheimer’s and my family

    Hi, I just recently lost my darling mother to Alzheimer’s and levy bodies disease. Last November she was given less than a year to live. My dad told the hospital we wanted her home beside him and myself. I can’t tell you how difficult the past nine months were watching her fight the nurses...