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  1. P

    Is it time for care home

    [QUOTE=When is the right time to consider a nursing home (she would hate it) Or do I get extra care in . Is there anyone I can talk to about options. She has no regular medical support - I feel like they have written her off. Thank you. TP is a good place to talk about options if you cannot...
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    Nasal feeding for husband who is refusing food and drink

    And every time I have to confirm it it is heartbreaking. Wishing you strength with your dilemma.
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    Nasal feeding for husband who is refusing food and drink

    It is very difficult but it looks to me that you and your daughters will be right to refuse treatment on his behalf. Unfortunately in hospital the default position is to offer medical interventions rather than let nature take its course and then risk being sued by unhappy relatives. Your husband...
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    From own home to nursing home

    Thank you for your good advice about first things first and going ahead with the assessment. I'm not good at taking one step at a time - I keep flying ahead of myself trying to get things perfect. I'll try and use that energy to write down all the details about my father's condition, as you have...
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    From own home to nursing home

    Thank you for this. This evening I'm leaning more towards the care home solution. You are right about not feeling comfortable with the carers calling the shots. No doubt I will change my mind 100 times tonight - so much disruption, he'll have to change GP and hospital consultant, the care home...
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    From own home to nursing home

    Thank you for your suggestions. The hospice at home nurse has mentioned Marie Curie nurses but she didn't put anything in place. As Love.dad.but said, I might need to lean more heavily on the GP (when I get to see him) to get the services. This is why I thought the care/nursing home would be a...
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    From own home to nursing home

    You are right that I need to talk to the carers about this. I have spoken to them in general terms and asked how they manage when he is shouting and screaming and they always say they can do it. I haven't yet told them I've looked at a nursing home. As you say, this would mean they are out of a...
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    From own home to nursing home

    Thank you Lousie7 and Love.dad.but for your replies. I feel much less alone having read your posts. TP has been a lifesaver for me; reading posts from others who are going through the same thing and who 'get it'. I visited the care home on Friday and was told that the assessment is only good for...
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    From own home to nursing home

    I’m sorry this is so long but I am flailing around trying to work out what to do for best. Is it too late to move my 94 year old father who has mid/late stage alzheimers and vascular dementia from his own home into a care home? I’ve found a good care home with a dementia/nursing care unit. It...
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    Live - in - Carer - is it feasible?

    I hope your meeting tomorrow goes well and that you find answers to your question. You say that ‘The hospital and Alz professions have warned that it is fraught with difficulties e.g. finding a suitablely qualified carer, sorting out cover for when they have time off, covering in emergencies...
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    Keeping a Diary or Blog

    " It is easy to deal with things at the time and get stressed but then you forget about them and deal with the next thing, so the blog is really helping me keep track and make sense of it all." That describes exactly how useful the blog/diary is. When stuff happens and it all piles up it is...
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    Keeping a Diary or Blog

    I have been keeping a diary - I call it chronology notes - since 2012 of stuff that happens with my father. He was diagnosed with mixed Alzheimers and vascular dementia in 2014. It has been so useful in discussions and negotiations with his GP, the district nurses and at the hospital. His...
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    Help with catheter

    The district nurse may be able to give advice. Also, you may find that the company which supplies your dad’s night bags, leg bags and other catheter stuff has a phone number for queries. I found them very helpful when my father started out with his long term catheter. My father wears a smaller...
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    Dad doesn't want change

    I agree with the good advice you’ve already had from others. I found myself in your situation 2 years ago, my widowed father in denial about his newly diagnosed Alzheimers and vascular dementia. His GP advised me that I should look at private/voluntary help as Social Services are so overwhelmed...
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    Does Anybody use waking night carers?

    My father was waking every night, very agitated and the carers had to work so hard to reassure him and calm him down. Exhausting for everyone involved. The Mental Health team was alerted by the GP and prescribed Memantine and Trazadone at night, which has worked for the past 10 months. He now...
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    Does Anybody use waking night carers?

    Sounds like you need to get some support in. Is there a spare bedroom? The agency we used to use offered on call night carers for 12 hour sleeper duties - I quote: 'These calls should not be longer than one hour accumulated time and not be a nightly occurrence. Calls in excess of two per night...
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    Cancellation of holiday seems unavoidable ...

    I agree with Sleepless. You need your holiday so go ahead and take it. If you feel that you can only leave her when everything is on an even keel you might never get away again. The agency will take responsibility while you're away - that's what they're there for. It's a good idea for you to...
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    Driving

    Could you ask someone to disable the car's electrics (discreetly!) so that if your dad were to climb in and attempt to drive it away it wouldn't start? You could then arrange for it to be taken away for 'repairs', which might turn out to be lengthy... My 90 year old father also said he would...
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    My dad Brian

    If he is anything like my father, that stubbornness is probably what has kept him going since your mother died. As for happiness, I have to remind myself daily that it is not my fault (nor his) if my father cannot be happy in his current state, and that I have done all I can to keep him safe and...
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    My dad Brian

    Would your dad go swimming? Mine used to go every morning - and that kept him clean! And fit. You probably don't want him on any kind of wheels but after my dad wrote his car off (while parking it...) I suggested he get a mobility scooter - to my surprise he was keen "I used to ride a motor...