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  1. W

    Shocked but only slightly, par for the course maybe

    Terrible day today. He went to downstairs toilet but pooed and weed on the floor instead of into the toilet bowl. Then an hour or so later was sitting outside and came in with wet trousers and the cushion on the chair all wet. What's going on, I don't know. He wanders around the house all...
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    Anger

    I can sympathise @Artist80 , as I posted above I'm going though the same thing with my partner. You're doing such a valuable job for the NHS. My partner gets bored, no way he would allow me to do anything like you're doing, I can't even get paperwork done, that's why I need carers to come in a...
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    Anger

    Yes @Banjomansmate everything revolves around them - mine is the same, all attention must be on him, though I've tended to put it down to him being an only child with a lot of attention from his mum and gran and then having a high powered job with assistants and secretaries!! Dementia seems to...
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    Shocked but only slightly, par for the course maybe

    Thank you all, that is a really interesting thread, mortifying though what some carers of PWD have to go through. I think in our case this was hopefully just a one off because he was too far away from the toilet. We don't go for long walks anymore as it's too much for him and I make sure he...
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    Shocked but only slightly, par for the course maybe

    Also, there's no one you can tell is there, only other carers of PWD would understand, anyone else would be disgusted.
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    Shocked but only slightly, par for the course maybe

    It had been a nice day today, cycle ride in the morning while carer was here and then sitting in the garden in the sun this afternoon, himself sleeping and me enjoying the peace and quiet! He woke up and I went to get him a coffee, carried it back down the garden and ............... well he'd...
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    Respite care home availability

    Around where I live it seems to be £1300 ish per week, but that seems to be top end, there are cheaper places that might well be just as good. Have you been on this site: https://www.carehome.co.uk/
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    Anger

    It's interesting to read this and the replies from others as I'm in very much the same situation and my partner's anger seems to be getting worse. But what I hate most is that he's so nasty to the carers, he swears at them, tells them to ****off', it's just not the man he was, I never heard him...
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    I'm not allowed to say goodbye

    This is terribly sad for you Kathy. Horrendous times for many people. Your husband will know that you cared, you shouldn't torment yourself as there is absolutely nothing you can do about this situation, it's not your fault. Take care of yourself and remember happier times with your husband.
  10. W

    Teeth cleaning

    My partner uses one of the vibrating toothbrushes, don't know if that would work for you wife?
  11. W

    It's What I Do!

    My partner does the same, the towel, gloves, tablecloth..... I feel like the nose blowing police, always having to be alert and tissues to hand .....
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    He's free.

    Sorry for your loss @Unhappy15. He'll be in a better place now, like you say, free from this cruel disease. Take care of yourself and remember happier times. xxx
  13. W

    It's What I Do!

    The straw that breaks the camels back isn't it. So the plan to move (or move him) didn't work out @maryjoan? My partner has no clue about the virus but luckily he takes no part in housework and cleaning these days, I just follow after him with a cloth and can usually persuade him to wash his...
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    Frustrated

    How I recognise everything you've all written. Stupidly this morning I got angry with my partner - he'd been snoring most of the night because he can't seem to keep his head on the pillow, it ends up almost hanging over the side of the bed. Then from 6 am he was awake and tossing turning...
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    9 years since this started

    Mine loves it when I sing - it's extremely bad singing but accompanied by lots of grand arm gestures, always makes him laugh (not surprisingly). Did Supercalifradilistic this morning, it was awful but he joined in with the arms :D
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    9 years since this started

    I'm not surprised you're feeling down @nae sporran that's quite a combination of anniversaries to deal with, especially with this wretched virus to worry about. Hope you're managing to get out for a little bit of sun and fresh air, it might help cheer you up.
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    My Man has escaped from the hell of dementia.

    So sorry for your loss @marshal. Remember the happy times with your husband. You will survive but you'll need to grieve first. Look after yourself.
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    Frustrated

    Hi @Kingswell difficult times for both of you, part of your husband's anger and non acceptance might be fear of the disease and what's going to happen to him - it must be terrifying for the PWD till it gets to the stage where they don't understand what dementia is. That's a lot of pills to be...
  19. W

    Second thoughts?

    My partner will often say things like 'I'm dead' or 'I'm dying' when he's feeling sorry for himself - he's actually very healthy. He doesn't seem to remember that he has children, if one of them does call I'm not sure he knows who they are. When my daughter stayed with us recently he didn't...
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    Second thoughts?

    Weird isn't it, as if being a carer is not hard enough without thoughtless and unhelpful interference.