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    first time in hospital.

    Thank you quilty for your honest answer. Maybe I'm a bit naive as to what to expect. The hospital have said they will assess her and see if much has changed from her base level before. Which is hard to assess as she is more confused because she not at home! So hard to judge what the right...
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    first time in hospital.

    My mil has never been in hospital and had to be admitted last week needing an emergency operation on an aneurism on her brain that had a slight bleed. The first night awake when we visited was awful. My husband was almost in tears. She thought we had come to take her home. ( she lives with us.)...
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    balancing my mil with my family.

    Thank you for all your comments and ideas. Will def have a look into day centres for mil to go to, and even look into carers for her. I def agree something needs to give so finger out of the hole and do it! I always try and think how mil would feel about things as in if doing thing would make...
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    balancing my mil with my family.

    I know there's lots of people into he same boat and feel selfish for complaining but when you have a hard day it is difficult to see the light. I treat everyday as it comes, much as I know it will be mostly the same as all the others. Maybe I do need to look into ways I can take a step back. My...
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    balancing my mil with my family.

    Unfortunately there is no other family. Well my mil has a brother who has refused to lookaccept her diagnosis of Alzheimer's. "She just needs to do more." . her son/my husband is so laid back he's horizontal. I can honestly say the only reason I stay is I refuse to lose what my life was supposed...
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    Clocks changing

    I have just changed all downstairs and changed upstairs earlier in the hope that mil won't realise. Hasn't up to now, all crossed!
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    balancing my mil with my family.

    Hate these kind of days.....This may be really jumbled up but have no idea where to start so I'm just going to type.... My mil wants to be out all the time. Even struggle to get time alone with my 12 year old daughter. Today was the normal discussion we have when I go to visit my mum. I took...
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    Feeling sorry for myself.

    Many days I feel the same. I even have friends that dont come round anymore. But TP is fantastic, always ideas,advice, and support available. And there isn't any right or wrong way to speak because everybody feels your posts, not just reads them. Big hug xxx
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    Tropical island without sea, Sand and palm trees.

    Thank you,that's a really good idea with the thermostat. Will def look into. And never thought of the police, I'd better drill some holes so the heat can escape. ;)
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    Tropical island without sea, Sand and palm trees.

    Am willing to try anything! Thanks for ideas.x
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    Tropical island without sea, Sand and palm trees.

    The temperature in our house is like a tropical island. The heating is Set on a thermostat. The minute it goes off my mil turns it up. We have a temp card that shows temp and says cold, warm etc. But she says she is cold. I show her the card but to no avail. We have bought blankets, suggested...
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    stages

    Thank you evryone. Have been on the link and found it very helpful. X
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    stages

    Hi, may sound a really silly question but how can you define stages? My mil was diagnosed 4 years ago. I see a big diff but how do i know the diff between early to mid stages? She was put on medication and referred back to the gp when diagnosed. I can't discuss it gp when she's there as mil...
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    How to redo a job without upsetting her

    The same thing happens in our house. Always trying to do things quickly or sneakily so as not to upset. Especially if you live in the same house and are constantly there. Maybe you could wash and mum could dry? My mil always dozes in the afternoon so I have that time to try and re do things. I...
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    noises

    My mother in law lives with us also andi know exactly what you mean! For us its coughs and grunts and sighs. It can be so hard to ignore sometimes. Most of the time I can zone out but when I can't my I pod and earphones are invaluable!
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    Distrust

    Thanks for tip Trisha Sounds like a fab idea. Think as far as the bank goes maybe a book with ins and out recorded may also be a good idea. Over time she has become more distrusting in one way. Things she used to leave downstairs are now kept in her room, if she comes upstairs she shuts her door...
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    Distrust

    Anyone have advice how to deal with distrust? My mil recently paid a dep on her holiday. I withdrew the cash as she doesnt know how to. ( she was with me at time) we went and paid it straight to travel agent. Later that day we went to pick up my daughter from school. My mil waited in car as had...
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    Holiday - what to do?

    Hi, i am sat reading your thread and thinking of course you and your family need your time together. And at the same time am having the same problem. It's strange how you can say to someone your right and yet not think the same about yourself. My mil lives with us and we would love to take our...