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  1. R

    Possibility to re-train memory of Alzheimer patient

    In my case, Travis95, it wasn't my decision: Mum suddenly suffered a sharp decline in mobility, and while I was trying to get an Occupational Therapist to see her, she had a bad fall. The carer found her crawling along behind the front door, unable to get up, and it wasn't clear how long she...
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    Am I negligent?

    Things are getting better, thanks (apart from legal complications over trying to sell Mum's house, but we'll get to the end of those at some point). It's been a real lesson for me on how some people will sit in judgement while knowing nothing at all about the situation. A few years ago one of...
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    Am I negligent?

    Interesting to hear from someone who's had the same thing, Sirena. I think you're right - they just don't want to see it (and because they themselves are getting old, they don't want to think about their own possible future). I'm quite sure there will be no contact between themselves and Mum...
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    Feeling Bad - lost my temper

    Don't beat yourself up, Reoblack. It really can be hard to keep your temper sometimes and spiteful remarks can be hard to take. My mother went through a phase of saying very nastily to me, 'You're barmy, you should be in a bloody nuthouse,' because she was confused by what I told her, and...
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    Possibility to re-train memory of Alzheimer patient

    Donezepil was the most helpful thing for my mother but as others have said, it can only slow down the process, not halt or reverse it. Some older people are short of B12 and supplementing/injecting it can improve their focus, but if you do this it still won't alter the fact that she has a...
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    Am I negligent?

    Unfortunately all sorts of weird personal agendas can come up when someone has dementia - I'm not saying this always happens, but it can. Before my mum went into care, she insisted on staying at home where she was living alone. I live in another county and it's a long, exhausting drive. Before...
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    Going round in circles

    Thanks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is the way forward and I won't have to employ someone privately - either a psychiatrist to do someone else's work for them, or a lawyer to order someone to do their own job. The final irony is that it's the local authority on our backs to sell...
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    Going round in circles

    Thanks, I definitely need to follow this up. Will ring the home tomorrow.
  9. R

    Going round in circles

    Good thinking. I never saw the DoLs paperwork and it wasn't given to me - I live a long way from Mum and although I'd been visiting, I wasn't present when she was discharged from the hospital (we weren't told until the last minute that it was happening). But I think the care home has a copy...
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    Going round in circles

    There IS a clause in the PoA saying it can only be used after a diagnosis of lack of capacity. The problem is that someone at the hospital clearly made this diagnosis, since they didn't allow Mum to return home - one of the doctors actually said to me that she no longer had legal capacity - but...
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    Going round in circles

    Thanks, Sarahdun. I would be willing to do that but the GP refuses to have anything to do with it, saying it's a job for the local mental health team. The team, meanwhile, are resolutely ignoring my calls. I've never been in a situation quite like this before; it's as if everyone is passing the...
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    Going round in circles

    Thanks, Silkiest. We opted to go with this legal firm as they came in a sort of package with the sales and auction costs; my brother did try Mum's own solicitor and left many messages with him but got no reply. In the end we pretty well gave up on that one. To be honest I think the...
  13. R

    A lifelong friend and me

    I rarely come on the site Palerider but I am so moved by your account of what's going on for you and your mum. You say you don't need help, but magic - but I can't help thinking you would benefit from any support that's going. The film of Greece brought tears to my eyes because it speaks so...
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    Going round in circles

    Mum was living at home, supported by carers, until March when she suffered a sharp reduction of mobility. She was getting wobblier over several days and finally she fell and couldn't get up or walk. She was taken to hospital where she was regarded as being unable to consent to her treatment by...
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    CHC report inaccuracies

    Keep logging it all. I am Mum's attorney but have agreed with my brother that he can deal with the CHC stuff as I'm dealing with the rest. Just recently we were informed, more than once and a bit abruptly, that I hadn't sent certain documents they requested, including a form permitting my...
  16. R

    Personal Hygiene and Dementia

    Hi Nia, you have my sympathies! I am also a distance carer though not from quite such a long distance as you. Mum has advanced dementia. She thinks she is shopping, cooking etc whereas in reality I and the carers run her life for her. She is doubly incontinent and unless pressured she will...
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    Mum battling with carers

    knicker theft Well! Before I could talk to the carers about confiscating knickers, they did it anyway. Mum phoned me to say the carers had stolen her underwear, which at least gave me a rare laugh, but apparently that hasn't worked either - one of the carers told me it started well, but then...
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    Mum battling with carers

    I'm still incredibly impressed - by both you and your dad. :) And yes, the carer gets such a hard time from Mum I really admire her patience and persistence. The day care centre people have cleaned her up on occasion when she's had an accident there. They are very good about it but I...
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    Mum battling with carers

    They do wear uniforms, LadyA, and they are persistent in looking for ways to win her over. She is SO proud and stubborn and won't even allow incontinence pads or toilet rolls to be stored inside the toilet 'in case anyone sees them' (nobody except Mum, carers or family ever uses the toilet). I...
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    Mum battling with carers

    Thank you, everybody, for your suggestions. I've got several new ideas to try out. :) I'm amazed that you were able to do personal hygiene with your dad, Shedrech, in awe actually! That was just never going to be possible with Mum and me. Unfortunately perfumed soaps etc aren't a help...