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    Aggressive behaviour and care homes.

    Hi JOD 1501, welcome to the best place around for help, advice, laughter and tears. Up until last year my Mam lived in here home for 50+ years, her aggression, violence and agitation got too much for Dad to handle and sadly, she is now in an "Enhanced" Unit of a "Care" Home, due to her being...
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    New here: A question about toileting

    Hi Evoque and welcome to Talking Point On a bad day, my Mam can visit the toilet almost every 20 minutes on the dot around the clock. I'm obviously not an expert, but I've worked out that most of the time when this happens, erm, I'll have to put this straight, she hasn't had a good number two...
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    Help - getting socially isolated

    Hi Kazzy2016 Have you had a Carers Assessment? My Dad had one and now he get's 2 morning's per week when he can have a few hours every day to himself, not much, but better than nothing, and there are additional hours/days if he wants to take them. Do you have an Admiral Nurse in your...
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    Wandering

    Hi and welcome to Talking Point The only advice I can offer is to see if your local Police have signed up to the Herbert Protocol... http://www.southyorks.police.uk/help-and-advice/other-services/herbert-protocol
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    Explosive family politics grinding me down

    Hi, without throwing any sharp objects, I'd just like to say, it's not a male thing, it's a selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate horrible person thing! :D I have no time whatsoever for views, opinions or ideas from anyone in the family who is not involved on the ground every day. The cheek of...
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    Ready meal suggestions

    Hi Having worked in the ready meal manufacturing business for the last 10 years, producing products for all the major retailers, I wouldn't recommend these products to anyone. They're "cheap" to buy for a very good reason, value for money, not really. If you want real value for money...
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    My mum is driving me mad . she wants to go 'home' when she is AT home. what can I do?

    Hi, I have a slightly different take on this. My Mam regularly says she wants to go home, I go through the process of telling her it is her home, where it is, how long she has lived there, who lives there etc. I give her a kiss and cuddle, tell her that she's not on her own, that everyone is...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Cragmaid Thank you for your comments and kind words. The house is secure and so is the property, Mam wouldn't be able to escape during the night. Mam would manage here as well as she does in her own home, she doesn't know where the bathroom, kitchen or any other room is in either house...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Julie B Thank you very much for your reassuring comments and kind words. Leaving Mam's assets alone, which only amounts to a few 1000's is my first financial rule, I'm not too sure what Mam's weekly/monthly income is, I do know that she gets AA and perhaps that would be an acceptable...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Witzend Thanks for the comment. As much as we are both aware of the potential difficulties at times, along with possible trials and tribulations, strains etc, we have both agreed if the time comes and we feel it is best for Mam to stay with us, then we will have regular weekend respite...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Pickles53 It's so strange that you mention that, I was only telling a young work colleague a few weeks ago how lucky he was only paying his parents £40 per week lodge. £40 all in, pack up, meals, washing and everything that comes with living a "modern" life, it sounds such a small...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Bod Thank you for your comment. I'm blessed to have a partner who is an angel and loves Mam so much. We've probably had more conversations about this subject than any other in our lives, she is fully supportive and understanding, in fact, it was her suggestion a long time ago, that we...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Jessbow I take your point about "giving up your life", but I gave up working full time a few years ago so I could help out with Mam (& Dad). I work part time, so does my partner, neither of us are eligible for Carers Allowance due to our earnings being over the threshold, which isn't an...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi CardiffLady That is now being added to my list of future priorities when considering a home. Thank you for that input.
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Jessbow Thanks for your comment. I live less than 5 miles away from Dad, there's obviously no problem with him coming to visit Mam, take her out etc, while he/they can. I respect your comment regarding Dad having the final say, but in all fairness, if Dad were 10 years younger, let...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Pickles53 Thank you for your comment. I know it is only right that Mam pays towards her daily/weekly living expenses, but it still sits uncomfortably with me, it's my Mam! I will admit, that paying a home for the level of care Mam currently needs really does annoy me, especially when...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi CardiffLady Thank you for your comment. Mam has no mental capacity whatsoever, she doesn't know her name, my name, how many children she has, her age, what certain items are called, most things have sadly faded away now. Oh, I know about taking her to the toilet at 2am, then again at...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi Chris53 Thank you for your kind words and the link.
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    How do I get family to help?

    Hi Chris990 Sadly, if they haven't offered by now, they're never going to, that's my experience any way. I don't even take any notice now when someone half heartily offers help, it's a token gesture for their own conscience, that's my view. The best thing to do, is to tell them you need time...
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    To Care home or not, that is the question!

    Hi, It's been a while since my last post, I do cast an eye over the forum when I get a lazy few minutes! Mam has what I would say is late middle stage to early late stage Alzheimer's, she can feed herself using a spoon, hold a drink, brush her hair and teeth, when prompted and that is about...