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    Just need a shoulder

    No, not a weed... just very human and reacting to an awful situation. I remember my mum's 3 hour rants at me for being so selfish when I was caring for her. Many of these were in the middle of the night especially after she had been put back to bed a few times! I remember my utter frustration at...
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    GPS Trackers

    Chickens I bought a GPS tracker for my mum last year from GiffGaff. There was an initial cost of around £200 and we were able to add money to the account for on going charges, a bit like a pay as you go phone. The device was about the size of a credit card but about 1cm thick. We were able...
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    "survivors guilt"

    'Survivors guilt' is so unfair and so unjustified. It hurts so much because you care about your mum, so if you care, that's a good thing isn't it, not something to feel bad about. You have done the best thing in the worst of circumstances, it's hard and it will take time to give yourself...
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    What happens when your parent gets diagnosed with dementia

    Well put, I could not have expressed it better myself. I think the isolation we all often feel is the worst. I used to think there is a whole world of people out there with lives, living them, allowed to be happy and having the freedom to just be....Then I would have a look at Talking Point and...
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    Crying in front of mum & she doesn't seem to notice.

    Hi Gudja Yes this sounds similar to me as well. In the earlier part of this year (whilst caring for mum at home) I have sobbed with frustration, been very ill and to my shame, been quite angry with Mum... all to no reaction, empathy or concern. And yet recently in the care home, I have seen...
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    Registered LPA - who needs to be informed?

    Just a quick tip when allowing organisations to photocopy LPA's, check the number of pages you give them and recount the number you get back. The Bank managed to leave an original page on the photocopier and I didn't check the copy when they gave it back to me. Fortunately they kept it safe...
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    Looking into care home placement - feel like Judas

    There have been so many good positive responses to your question already, but I wanted to share a thought which struck me today, 10 days after mum went into a home. In the home she has at least 3 carers on the unit at all times, a cook to provide her meals, a cleaner, a gardener, an admin...
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    Worried about my dad

    Hi Lucky, I'm so sorry your Dad is having to cope with this. I had a very similar experience with my Mum, she too refused to go to bed but would happily sleep sitting on the sofa for most of the day if allowed to. In the end, she rarely slept for more than an hour without waking and demanded...
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    spoilt behaviour

    Oh I know just what you mean. I care for my 86 yr old mum. Whenever she wakes (whatever time it is) she complains about the clothes she is wearing and immediately wants to change into day or night clothes. As she is deaf as well I normally explain that she will have to have breakfast followed...
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    My mother is insulting and hurtful towards her best companion

    Oh how I sympathise with Brenda. My mum used to be the kindest person who rarely said a bad word about anyone without very good cause. Since I began caring for her 4 months ago, she has developed the most vitriolic tongue and regularly berates me for anything up to 4 hours, saying everything...
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    Blue badge

    Hi I managed to get a Blue Badge for my mum (87) who has AZ and vascular dementia. We don't have the higher rate AA so she needed to attend an assessment. I think we were lucky to get a sympathetic assessor who explained that although mum probably didn't meet the physical requirements, she...
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    Are we over reacting

    I would be incensed...could they not take her down in the lift in a wheelchair and transfer her to her new chair once they are down. It would take a bit of faffing about, but surely the benefits for her would outweigh the additional work involved. Alternatively could she not be moved to a room...
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    so many questions...

    Thanks Bod... We had her checked for UTI last week and there was none, but I think it worth pursuing the medication review. I did wonder about the effect of sleeping pills but it would be so good if she could just lose some of the anxiety and maybe sleep more comfortably.
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    so many questions...

    Fantastic... I can now see the screen without squinting! Thankyou kindly!
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    so many questions...

    Hi This is my first post although I have been avidly reading and searching TP for information for a few months now and have found it really helpful. It helps to 'put me back in my box' when I get over tired and stressed and makes me realise how many others are sharing similar and often worse...