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    Confused about which stage we are at.

    I would start by making sure there is no physiological reason for him not eating or drinking much. You could ask for a referral to a SALT (speech and linguistics therapist) who can check various things including his swallowing mechanism. They will also give you advice on things to try - they...
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    Feeling cold but sweating!

    It is easy for a Dr to say oh get him to stay away from the heat source. Much harder to implement the suggestion though. If your body was telling you you were cold then heat is what it needs. I guess I am more of the "do what it takes to keep the person happy and comfortable" brigade and...
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    Refused to talk to me

    Sounds a bit like old fashioned emotional blackmail to me! LOL I can understand you being upset and I think there is a danger that this becomes an obsession for your mum in that she is focussed so much on this issue that there is nothing that is going to shift her. I know with my mother that...
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    Nan won't eat and now weighs 7 stone

    Unfortunately this is not uncommon for someone with Dementia. The first thing I would do is rule out whether there is a physiological reason for her not eating - eg is she having problems swallowing? You can ask for a SALT (Speech and Linguistic Therapist) to do an assessment and they are...
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    Where is best for Mum to live at this stage

    Have you explored whether there are any day care centres near where you mum lives? Perhaps some of the local care homes also run a day care service too. This could be an intermediate solution to her being lonely and give you the comfort of knowing that someone is there to look after her whilst...
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    Dignity or wellbeing

    Having gone through this with my mother, I agree with Kevin. Firstly, how do you consider they get your dad into a bath or a shower if he has indicated that he doesn't want to? Do they just manhandle him in there without regard to the distress it would cause, bearing in mind that with dementia...
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    A brief flirtation (!), an anticipated affair (xxx) - then heartache

    i think you will find that the 'fussiness' is due to the fact that they intend to flog the things on ebay! It is quite a good little earner these days - especially when you get the things for free. Fiona
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    Purple Angel Trademark secured

    Wow. All seems a rather complex situation and thank you for explaining things to me. I hope I haven't caused any further angst by asking the question but I was getting confused by what I was seeing. Thank you so much for your help, Fiona
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    Little envelope symbol

    Interesting to know - on the front page lone 4 threads indicate have been tampered with. LOL Will be good to see how this transparency evolves. Fiona
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    Purple Angel Trademark secured

    Norms, Congratulations on the new Trademark. Can you please clear up some confusion for me? If you google purple angel dementia there is a website that comes up all about purple angel - at the bottom it talks about affiliations and mentions a particular company, saying it is not affiliated...
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    deprivation of assets question

    If you are going to do this then please pay it in full and not pay it up. If you pay it up and then the person goes into care then the chances are that the LA won't provide extra allowance for the payments to continue. If you haven't already done so, make sure your mum is receiving the...
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    Mom going into 24 hour care tomorrow.... feel sick.... is it the right thing?

    My personal view is that contrary to you feeling you have failed and feel guilty, you are in fact doing something which is completely selfless on your part. You say that your mum is lonely and often tearful etc and if a care home is the answer for her and she has access to staff and other...
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    Urgent: Care Home Want To Kick Her Out!

    Hiya and welcome to talking point. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this and from what you describe I think what this comes down to is that the care home is not staffed to give the lady the kind of attention she is now needing. I will hazard a guess that although they provide...
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    Violent Behaviour

    You and your mum need to agree that your dad needs help and that she is not capable of caring for him due to the unpredictability and potential for violence. As hard as this might be to contemplate what may or not happy, if your dad fell and broke his hip you would take him to hospital and if...
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    I pick myself up emotionally only to be knocked right back down again.

    Angiebails, You have my sympathy in having to deal with this. My advice to you would be to contact your husband's consultant and explain the extent of the problem as this is not just him having delusional thoughts but he is acting upon them too. We had years of this type of behaviour from...
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    How to help my mum who doesn't accept/remember that she can't remember...

    Can I just make a point about companion visits and in particular if the people visiting tend to vary. Please make sure that if you are setting these things up that the person with dementia has the ability to be security aware. There is a danger if people turn up at the door that they are...
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    Need to vent

    Could you not jump in the car and go round to the cafe. Tell her that you thought you'd come and join them for a cuppa and as you have the car with you - you can drive them both up the road to dad's appointment? Only other thing you can do is rather than suggest things - simply ask the...
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    Switching off plugs

    LOL not if they're out and about - if they are at home with the telecare system you can call telecare and they would get on the intercom and tell them! I forgot to mention in the last post that this would also apply if you got there and couldn't get in the door - they would contact him and tell...
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    Switching off plugs

    Another thing you could consider is to get a Telecare phone installed. This is hard wired into the wall and if the electric plug is removed or there is a powercut they immediately get on the intercom thing to make sure everything is ok. In addition to the pendant that can be used if he has a...
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    Visiting mum

    It is interesting isn't it that she obviously has the awareness of how she is treating you and for that reason I would would certainly set my boundaries and let her know what is acceptable or not. You can give her a warning and the opportunity to meet your wishes and if she chooses not to then...