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    My Gordon is at peace at last

    Dear Jeanette Sorry for my belated message, I post so rarely here anymore but remember you well from 'the old days' and wanted to send my deep condolences on the passing of your beloved husband. What a poignant and moving ending to a long road travelled by you both, I'm sure he couldn't have...
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    My Mum Lost Her Fight....................

    Dear SWMBO I rarely log on anymore but was v sad this evg to learn of your mum's recent passing. 99 is such a tremendous age to reach & am sure largely down to all the good care you provided. I know you looked after her for some years with enormous perseverance and devotion and am just glad...
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    A life in the day of.........................

    Dear Sylvia I was very saddened to read your news. I know how completely devoted you’ve been to Dhiren’s care and have charted every nuance of his journey with concern, diligence and love. His life-force will live on forever within you and having this chronicle will preserve those precious...
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    Changes in Mum

    Dear Joanne It's so hard to see deterioration especially when it comes on relatively suddenly after a long period of stability. Dad's decline has also been quite slow, over 11 yrs, although the last year or so he's gone downhill considerably culminating most recently with a loss of his ability...
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    Ebixa

    Sorry you're experiencing these problems with your mum, sounds like you're going through a very rough time. Only to say my dad has been taking Aricept and Ebixa together for some yrs (were told it was ok to by the psychiatrist). I'm not sure if the Ebixa has made a huge difference with him to be...
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    Swallowing Problems...............

    Sympathise with you SWMBO. The earliest we could ever get dad to appts during the last couple of years he was living at home, even to his GP which was just around the corner, was midday as it was a real ordeal getting him up and out. Later appt def called for!
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    My Mom died today

    Dear Jennifer Am so sorry for the loss of your dear mum but peace has finally come for both of you. She left this world knowing how much she'd been loved & in time hope only happy memories remain. Pxx
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    Pureed Food

    Thank you everyone for your interesting comments, so good to hear all your different viewpoints. The home have since reassured me that nothing is taken from the taste in pureeing dad's food and the food groups are definitely pureed separately rather than as a single mush which is what I'd been...
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    Carer's Allowance

    As far as I know CA isn't means-tested and not dependent at all upon partner's earnings. I used to claim it but became ineligible when my dad transferred to a care home. I think the main provisio was that I wasn't allowed to earn more than £100 a week and had to be doing at least 35hrs care a...
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    Happy 99th Birthday Mum

    Ah, Happy Birthday SWMBO's mum - what a wonderful age to reach & testament also to all the care & hard work you're doing.
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    Pureed Food

    Lin - many thanks for your comments too. I'm relieved to hear that pureed tastes the same. I was a bit worried that the home were doing it more for their convenience but think dad was struggling to chew some of the food without upper teeth and there was a lot of spitting out going on. It sounds...
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    Pureed Food

    Thanks so much everyone for your helpful responses. I will definitely investigate further (and taste if needs be) as hadn't occurred to me the food types might/ could be pureed separately and had just imagined a liquidised plate of mush! Unfortunately dad is a bit passed saying whether he...
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    Pureed Food

    My dad's CH have recently started pureeing all his meals not due to problems swallowing but because he has no upper teeth and is very slow to chew and also often spits out hard bits eg. peas, cauliflower, carrots etc. I'm never actually there during mealtimes so haven't seen the appearance of...
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    Administrators, Is it possible....

    OLL's idea is a good one, even if we can't mention CH names on the main forum, think it would be great if there was a dedicated area for recommendations which others could go to easily to make requests and then pick up responses via private message. At present requests of this sort can sometimes...
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    Flu jab for mum. Yes or No?

    Respect everyones' right to choose. Dad will be getting the flu jab this year just as he's had it every other, as much as anything a purely instinctive decision.
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    UTI is back

    Sorry to hear that. We plied dad with cranberry juice after his first though he still caught another - no fun at all :( Do hope the antibiotics clear it speedily.
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    He's violent again!

    Dear southlucia Afraid I can’t offer useful advice except to say that I really feel for you and have some idea of the stress and distress you’re feeling. Like your dad, mine has also got a mixed type of dementia incl. poss Lewys Bodies which is a particularly nasty type and can be very...
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    Every visit is a bad one

    Thanks v much also Nebiroth. Unfortunately dad is just as shouty when we're not there as the staff keep us well informed, sadly he's probably long past associating us with anything in his former life. Noise is definitely a big trigger for him and it doesn't even have to be loud, could just be...
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    Every visit is a bad one

    Thank you all for your sensitive posts. OLL - sorry also you experience difficult visits, it really can churn you up. Our dad's sound slightly similar as like yours my dad pre-dementia had a lovely nature - sweet, generous and always well-mannered. The illness has transformed him beyond any...
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    Every visit is a bad one

    Don't post here so often anymore but just felt the need tonight as have been going through a very rough time visiting dad whose been in a CH for about 18months. His dementia is v advanced, mobility failing, double incontinent and is fully dependent on carers. He's suffered badly with his...