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    Why don't I want to do anything

    Good advice above from wise people who have been through similar experience. I wonder if you could try some little steps in this? Could you perhaps arrange to meet someone on the way home from your visit to Peter occasionally? Maybe go for a coffee and cake to cheer you up and someone to...
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    I know I go on about this a lot, but I noticed on an earlier post you had both been to a village event where he sang. I wonder if some positive, upbeat music might raise his spirits? Music is a wonderful gift for altering mood. It’s used behind the scenes in all the films for making us feel...
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    Yes, Geraldine. Tried them with my mom, she refused to wash. I tried the one in the cap first, not successful. But the shampoo itself was great. Just gently run it in and towel off. I believe people use it when they go to these music festivals in summer. Worked for us anyway.....
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    It’s so stressful, this awful disease. Is there a song he liked? Maybe something you sang together as a child? Singing can be relaxing for both of you and can maybe stir memories of happy times. Worked for me, hope it might for you. Try to find some relaxing time for yourself. I know it’s...
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    toilet trouble

    My mil hated the incontinence pants at first. She kept asking me me where her proper knickers were. But we persevered and managed to cope until the nights when her flow was so great that they would literally drop down with the sheer weight of the urine. . That lady could drink tea like it was...
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    Is the end near?

    Hi there, Yes, I’ve experienced this twice, my Mom and then mum in law. We lost MIL 6 weeks ago. She was diagnosed at end of life in early July and it was the end of October before she finally died. The rollercoaster you described is exactly the same as ours. We spent the whole summer with...
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    Has Anyone Brought a Relative Home to Die?

    Thank you so much for taking the trouble to reply to my post, @Ladymelchet. Your experience and Sam’s are amazing. The fact that members post their experiences on here truly inspires the midst of such upset and anguish you are willing to share the ups and downs of this awful...
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    Has Anyone Brought a Relative Home to Die?

    Thanks, everyone. I read Sam’s experience. I can identify with her frustration at the lack of joined up thinking between the different professions, even the different people within each profession. They don’t speak to each other and they don’t all tell you the same thing. I have been...
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    Has Anyone Brought a Relative Home to Die?

    MIL is in her final stage and is currently in a residential care home. She is declining and, when lucid, very depressed. I would love to bring her home to my house to die but I realise this is a massive decision. She needs turning every 2 hours and it takes 2 members of staff. I’d have to...
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    The Long and Winding Road

    Thanks, Lindy, that’s what I thought the doc and I had agreed by phone but when it arrived it was “as necessary “ I’ll ask tomorrow if he can arrange this with the home. Paracetamol seems to work best for her and doesn’t make her sleepy so she eats better. She has Oramorph in place, too, so...
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    The Long and Winding Road

    Hello Friends, Mum in law was diagnosed as “end of life” just over a month ago. She is in a local residential care home. We had been visiting daily then but decided to be there with her more so that she wouldn’t be alone at the end. I’m sure this has helped her to hang on, we help feed her...
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    A rollercoaster ride

    Hi there, I know this might seem a daft suggestion, but has your Dad been checked out by the gp lately in case he has a water infection? Any form of infection can cause delusions, hallucinations and other forms of "doolally" behaviour. Constipation can do the same thing, but I doubt this is...
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    Taking a break and not telling

    Hi Father Ted. Please do go on your break. Everything is in place now and it will do you so much good. I have had similar feelings about leaving MIL to attend my sons wedding. It all seems so much hassle, getting reliable cover for the time we are away and MIL has seemed so depressed and...
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    Fecal incontinence?

    Yes, the artificial sweetener in those sweets do make you "go" they give me tummy ache. We have bought some sugar free squash with the same intention.
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    Fecal incontinence?

    Hi, Katrine, Yes, I agree that she may be hanging on when certain people are there. That's quite reassuring in a way, as it shows a measure of control so is not incontinence. Quite the opposite. I have started giving her a small bowl of prepared fruit to graze on during the afternoon...
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    Helping us all

    Hi Wozzie, I found out the name of the carer who would be visiting and introduced her as "my friend, Jane" or whatever name she is. Initially I invited her in and asked mum, "is it ok if my friend Jane shares a cuppa with us?" Fortunately, although mum wasn't one to visit, she would make...
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    My mum is sleeping alot

    Hi Sharpy, It's good that you are seeking the doctors advice as it is always wise to check out any medicine side effects and physical problems. However, it does seem to be a common theme with dementia sufferers. My mum slept more and more as the dementia progressed and mil seems to be...
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    Fecal incontinence?

    Think Mum continent, but problems anyway! Thanks Risa, for starting this thread. We have tried some of the ideas on here but it doesn't seem to be solving mil's particular problem, so I'm posting this in the hope that one of you kind folks will have met (and possibly solved) the problem we...
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    Fecal incontinence?

    Having done a little research on the nhs website it seems you have to be careful about laxatives. They don't recommend regular use so establishing a habit might be difficult. However, the prunes idea sounds like a natural way to achieve it. I just have to work out when to serve them to...
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    I'm here too, Jacquetta. Feeling for you and hoping you have managed to get some sleep. Hugs