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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Peace in my heart I go to bed now with peace in my heart.... and a strategy in my mind. The aim is to make that pot hole look like the prettiest pothole on the planet. A welcoming pothole. No, Noorza, I don't want to occupy that particular dementia pothole. But sometimes I wonder if half...
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    Fixation with watch & time

    Time line - losing ones sense of time I remember in a nostalgic way when Mum was fixated with watches. Every watch we got her she broke within days. It either got wet. Or she fiddled with knobs until it just died of confusion. I would think we bought close on 20 watches two years ago. Within...
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    Hot weather

    Hello Grandma Joan, In this hot weather, we have a whole watermelon and cherries (huge mega-nuggets of things) in the fridge. I notice Mum's appetite is less in all this heat, I saw 42 C in the shade today here in la Belle France. I gave Mum a bowl of museli (she gave it to the dog) for...
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    Update on moving my mother to a different care home.

    Well, TAkemewithyou, There is nothing sweeter than knowing you are doing the right thing. Nothing sweeter. I shall be waiting to hear how you both find the new place. I hope it is way better and you get the peace of mind that is so important to us carers (and spouses). Good for you. Hugs...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Thank you Jay It could be, it just could be, that I am starting to see how this could work. The problem with me, and the reason why I am finding hard-core dementia difficult, it that I am not shifting into their world. Even if I delude myself that I am. Actually I am not. I am mentally rigid...
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    Where are my threads?

    STringing threads Hi Jeany, I didn't mean to pick on you or single you out. But you have been writing a kind of online diary, with pages and pages of posts (unless I have my wires crossed, and at this point I don't know where to find your long thread to check I am correct). I wanted to...
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    Where are my threads?

    Only just found this, sorry Hi guys, Thank you for all the posts. I wrote the post originally in the carer section. It was moved here. I could click on HERE, and while it took me to the post, I didn't know where on the forum the post was. I would like to know the following: What is going...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Have made space in PM box. They need to make these things bigger. I get such lovely messages and hate to delete any! Skye, Hazel, It takes me a long time, coming from Ireland, I always take the scenic route! Middle way or skirting the hole in the ground..... .... I must use the health...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Moonflower, Thank you too.... this is so helpful. Perhaps there is a chink of light there somewhere (no doubt the light you are holding out). Perhaps this faithful anosognosia companion will see her through. Mum wouldn't like to run a care home either....... .... but you and Delphie have made me...
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    Update on mum.

    That sounds way better, Carab. Hopefully her next stop after bloods is home sweet home. Thinking of you and glad it is 5 mins down the road. That's great. Hugs BE
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Hello Delphie, Your post comforted me very much. Perhaps this is what Mum will be like too. I will talk of appartments (her room), but my mind wonders how she will react to the dining room full of oldies, with jaws hanging open and many a vacant stare..... Or will she do her anosognosia...
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    Quality vs Quantity?

    I suppose we think about these moral questions and as different things occur, we update or alter our stance. It is too easy (just my view) to say Quality. I like that old adage "Do no harm" because it helps us to see the bigger and the smaller picture simultaneously. If it is too hot, then...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Hi Lin, I see the post exists when I click on it..... but in this virtual world, WHERE is it? Is all the stuff I posted (almost 2000 posts) just going into some invisible archive, as something new has replaced it? The very idea makes me heart sick. A year of memories and our journey together...
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    Update on moving my mother to a different care home.

    Dear Takemewithyou, I love to read about how nicely turned out your Mum is, and her feeling secure and happy watching TV in the fresh air. Why is it like this? I wish I knew. I suppose if we had the answer, we would be able to put the world to rights. My gut feeling is one element is so...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Hi Angelface, I accept your prayers for healing, both for Mum and for me. Thank you. I am not at all religious, but I do believe in prayer. Thank you again. My prayer is that she will lose language fast. Lose her sense of place. So that it doesn't matter where she is. So far my dark thoughts...
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    A strange lucidity in Mum

    I want to tell you about a strange event yesterday. When I went over to dress Mum, it was the same as always. Disposable underwear, two fresh ones, the one I put out and dated for yesterday, and another one she had found. As usual it was the hunt for yesterday's disposables before the dog...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Dear GRannie, I stand corrected. You are absolutely right. It is about accepting. What do I accept? That I cannot go on like this? THat I cannot put Mum into a home? The Middle Way is a tough one because I stand at a fork in the road. Bear with Mum and her Dementia. Or bear with putting...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Hi Skye, Acute Anxiety State. That about sums it up. My GP is on holiday. How about that? Will start googling Acute Anxiety State. Need more data. Whatever it is it feels very bad. And I don't want any more amnesia - not fair on my special man. Thanks for taking the time to comment - you...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Hello Rajahh, Oh I don't know what is going on. Is it my (hubby's computer) or is it the new dratted forum..... I can't copy and paste a quote. Jeanette, If I could find a place like this for Mum she would be in before I could say boo. However Mum speaks no French. Nor could anyone expect...
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    Nil Desperandum - but I dispair anyway

    Noorza, I love that post and poem. But tell me, coz I'm curious. She falls into the hole, the same big hole three times (that is me I am sure, except I have fallen into it 1000 times). So this smart lady's advice is for me to recognise that the hole is there and to fall in with eyes wide open...