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    Should I move him to another CareHome?

    Thank you Ernest. I have decided now that I won’t move him. I hadn’t really considered that they might not keep him there. It’s a purpose- built Care Home so I don’t think that will happen. Heaven help me if it does!
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    Should I move him to another CareHome?

    Yes Bunpoots. Apparently using a belt is not acceptable in Carehomes these days.
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    Should I move him to another CareHome?

    Thank you jenniferjean.Sounds as though your daughter is very much like mine. They call it Role Reversal! I’m not ready for that just yet!
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    Should I move him to another CareHome?

    My husband is still very unsettled in his C.H. even after a year. He is incontinent and very uncooperative with the carers. Consequently his room often smells really bad. He is chair/wheelchair bound as a result of a stroke but recently he has become convinced that he can walk and he often...
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    Finding it hard visiting

    Thank you all for your replies and your advice. I guess we are all suffering in much the same way and coping the best way we can.
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    Finding it hard visiting

    What you say Ernest, describes my husband almost exactly. Unfortunately, because he is disabled because of a stroke I am finding it difficult getting him in and out of the car and pushing him in his wheelchair is affecting my back. I have tried taking him to the pub or a cafe but he is morose...
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    Finding it hard visiting

    Thank you Bunpoots. I am trying to cut back on the visits but on days that I don’t go I just potter around at home doing nothing! I am planning a short visit to my son and his family in Rutland in March which I am looking forward to-with trepidation!
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    Finding it hard visiting

    Just yesterday, the manager of the Care Home said to me ‘he is getting very aggressive now’. I wonder if they are considering some kind of sedation. I know he makes things very difficult for the carers who are responsible for showering and toiletting him. At times he is unshaven and quite...
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    Finding it hard visiting

    I haven’t posted for a while. My husband has been in the Care Home for a year now. The dementia is getting worse. Of course I know it can’t get better but I am beginning to feel that I can’t bear to see him anymore. His mobility has reduced to the point where he has to be assisted from bed to...
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    Care Home stress

    Thank you all. It’s good to know that you are out there and I’m not alone. Xx
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    Care Home stress

    Thank you for your support. Tricia Bee
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    Care Home stress

    My husband has been in a very good Care Home since January. He hasn’t settled, possibly because I visit every day. I worry that he may be getting depressed. He doesn’t really know me. He thinks I’m someone else who he quite likes! He talks about getting out of there. I don’t think I can take...
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    Care Homes.

    Thank you all. I am not satisfied with the care my husband is receiving. He is not getting enough stimulation. Most of the activities are geared to women. Nails, hair, flower arranging. Obviously these activities don’t put much stress on the staff. There are occasionally entertainments but not...
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    Care Homes.

    My husband has been in a Care Home for 9 months. There are 60 people there and most of them are far worse than he is. Some of them have serious mental problems and have been there for over 20 years. I am considering moving him to another smaller Care Home, but some people say that that’s not a...
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    Wanting to come home.

    Yes, I know all this, but why doesn’t he know me? My heart is broken.
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    Wanting to come home.

    Thank you Earnest. I can identify with all the things you describe. Writing things down for him is a good idea. I tried it before without success but I will try again. Also I take your point about having a routine. At the moment I go every day but not at the same time. Perhaps if I go at the...