• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

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  1. P

    What should be in a handbook on caring for someone with dementia?

    I agree with Shellbag. Advice on dealing with guilt. repeated statements that it does not get easier, that no 'solution' lasts for long, and that residential care is not failure or betrayal.
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    Your tips: supporting someone with dementia and yourself at Christmas

    Main advice, is to have no expectations. See what happens!! The last Christmas my MiL spent with us, she came down to breakfast on Boxing day all ready packed and dressed in her coat ready to go home! We were surprised....it also took some serious efforts to persuade her to stay at least one...
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    Tips on How to handle Anxious MIP (Memory Impaired Person)

    Re asking the same question: I got a lot of help from a book called 'Contented Dementia'. It suggests a strategy for trying different answers, until one is found which seems to give some ease. The theory is that the person is not really interested in the answer which is obvious and true..Where...
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    Repeated Questions.......

    You may be able to find a different answer that will be more satisfying. You could try that. e.g. 'what page am I on? page 32...what page am I on? a really exciting page. what page am I on? the right page. The theory is, that you might find an answer that is soothing to her. If so, keep...
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    End of Life- but Hopeful !

    It is true that if we eat well, do not smoke, exercise and keep our minds and social life active and developing, we will have a better quality of life. And it is true that if we eat nothing but rubbish and get very obese and smoke like factory chimneys, we are likely, though not certain, to...
  6. P

    Low interest rates

    No idea how much you are talking about...but we had some money to invest and talked to a financial advisor (at the Nationwide, but all banks will offer a service like this) the money is now invested in a range of things, including stocks and shares. It is risky, but not so much. They discuss...
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    Mum laundry, care Home and feelings

    This sounds like a dreadful situation. I know that care homes are all different, and sometimes the 'practicalities' are less important than the atmosphere and the level of human and real care. For example my MiL never gets dressed, but that is fine. However, I would be unhappy with some of...
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    Where do we go from here?

    My MiL was not sectioned. She had utterly refused all care and all support. We are self funding. The home accepted her as they then got a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding Assessment, and a Mental Capacity Act Assessment. You need to get this all clear with a social worker. Maybe ring the...
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    Does anyone have a solution to being phoned all the time?

    Such a problem. Agreed, dedicated mobile, with really cheery and long message, so she experiences some contact with you. Then delete all messages. Your mum will not remember she has left a message. So don't worry. My MiL may have won the prize. She rang a pal over 40 times one morning to...
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    Heating controls

    There are two problems here, maybe? The need to fiddle, and that can be sorted with a thermostat that is not attached. I agree about getting someone in to see if boiler can be boxed in. (Perhaps tell her it is new regulations??) The other problem is her anxiety about bills. She wants the...
  11. P

    sex, daughter , accusations

    I think the most important thing is that it stops. If she can respond to a firmer line, brilliant. If not, try the other way. But agreed, tell people it is happening so they are prepared and do not go off pop!
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    sex, daughter , accusations

    You can try..'that is a horrible thing to think about, Mum. Leave it with me and i will make sure it doesn't happen again.' Or similar. Respond to the feeling.(.maybe.....something terrible is happening, I am scared) ...with acknowledgement of the validity of the feeling, and reassurance that...
  13. P

    caring for my mother in law with semantic dementia, "don't know what to do!!"

    I would be very interested in your FB group. Is is public?
  14. P

    The perfect Christmas..Bah Humbug!

    All such a minefield. I do think we can reinvent Xmas as much and as often as we like. So, sell the baubles, treat the 3(?) days as a spa weekend. Lay in herbal lovelies, light but delicious food and turn all the gadgets off. Emerge relaxed and rejuvenated. Or whatever. Dreadful time also...
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    My mum is refusing to go into a care home for respite

    This is a dreadful thing. I agree 'nice hotel' angle is worth trying. Also if she can get it, then the 'house in turmoil..no not water' etc. I assume you have tried that and realised that logic plays no part in overcoming the fear and confusion. So do not mention it much, to reduce stress...
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    Invisibles ! I give up

    Thank you for this. I am one of a large family. Since my mother went into care, and then died, i have had very little to do with most of them. The lack of interest/hostility was masked by my sweet Mum'S efforts and enthusiasm. I realise that I 'kept in touch' via her, there was little direct...
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    Worried about being thrown out of Mum's house when she rages.

    Are social services aware of the situation now ? You mention your noughts on possible care packages. You sound like you may need someone to talk this over with. And someone to talk to in a crisis. I agree that this kind of rage is sadly typical and no one would take it at face value. It...
  18. P

    Christmas gifts

    We gave a box with 24 small tubes of very nice hand cream. So maybe lovely liquid soap and hand cream sets for their loo, or one of those reed scented oil diffusers. Something to improve the environment, as it were. And actually a present spontaneously at another time would be much appreciated...
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    How to help

    i have not been in the position of being a live in carer, so do not know what to suggest that would be helpful to your mother. Maybe give her a chance to just talk, when you visit. Is she open to saying when she needs things? She may have a wish list. It might be fun to make a book of...
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    Shouting at grandmother

    if you are really sure that it is not being compounded by hearing loss, then I think I would approach it like I would have approached children with learning needs and poor attention. Forgive me if you do this already!! Make sure she is looking straight at you. This may need you to move into her...