• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

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  1. Pete1

    Shower Refusal

    Hi @Andrew35, welcome to the forum. If he doesn't want to go into the cubicle could his carer(s) (don't know if your Mum has any help) give him a full body wash by the sink, not ideal I know but better than nothing.
  2. Pete1

    A lifelong friend and me

    It's truly abysmal @Palerider, you have been very badly let down when all we read are Local Authority Carer Strategies full of empty words and platitudes ....every carer counts, right (I won't get started). I hope you find Mum in good spirits, enjoy that precious time.
  3. Pete1

    Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

    Hi @annielou, I'm so sorry to hear about your day, I can understand your sadness. It is absolutely heartbreaking seeing poor Mum confused and worried - you are going over and above in supporting Mum in her hour of need. However, it will inevitably take its toll on you physically and...
  4. Pete1

    A lifelong friend and me

    Hi @Palerider, that's awful, I'm so sorry to hear that. Surely the property will take quite a while to sell (my Mum's bungalow has taken over a year) can't you stay until it is sold, surely there has to be some sense in that for all parties (for example insurance on an empty property is far higher).
  5. Pete1

    Respite time or selfishness?

    It's a 'no-brainer' @Agzy you have to go - it's only three days.
  6. Pete1

    Social Services

    Hi @worriedson77, I think you mentioned that you didn't have power of attorney which does make things tricky. You could always ring Social Services up and make some enquiries, the worst that can happen is that they won't discuss Mum with you. Failing that speak to the GP, again though unless Mum...
  7. Pete1

    Hectic 48 hours with calmer waters in sight

    Sometimes life is beautiful.
  8. Pete1

    A lifelong friend and me

    Nothing else to say.
  9. Pete1

    What now?

    Hi @CWR, it's a strange feeling for sure - I didn't cry for many months, although I felt a grief that could destroy you. Mum passing away is a great loss in every respect, and extremely difficult to come to terms with. I would suggest bereavement counselling, it worked for me - I never envisaged...
  10. Pete1

    [trigger warning] - question about end of life scenarios

    Hi @rmabo, there is no doubt that in my experience it was a traumatic situation - I can't tell you otherwise. I experienced it at different times with both Mum and Dad, who had palliative care in their Care Homes after several years with dementia. My Mum passed away just over a year ago. She...
  11. Pete1

    Building an Annex

    Hi @Amanda C, if it is gifted to you by Mum it will still be considered in a financial assessment should Mum need care within the time period stipulated by your Local Authority (it will be on their guidance, the time period varies between authorities) - if it falls outside their time period...
  12. Pete1

    A lifelong friend and me

    Hi @Palerider, an awful discussion none of us ever want to have. Mine was a straightforward decision as Mum had always expressed that wish to me when we went through similar with Dad (and decided on the same outcome) - that said the discussion wasn't any easier. It's been a pretty rough couple...
  13. Pete1

    Want to cry after visiting my mother

    Hi @Lemons, I hear you, my Mum had the same and it was something that was really difficult to achieve even with home care visits 4 times a day - the only time it was achieved was in residential care, where they were sticklers for getting it right. Just wondering if Mum losing weight as a...
  14. Pete1

    A lifelong friend and me

    Hi @Palerider, I'm so sorry to hear about Mum. I remember you mentioning some tell tale signs, same I experienced with my Mum, although the GP told me at the time what she thought it was. Really feel for you and your Mum - the care home has to be the best place for her. I expect you are...
  15. Pete1

    Really worried and Mum turning against me

    Sadly we experienced this with Dad, in my experience only (and I'm sure others may not see it the same way as they have had different experiences) it was quite distressing for his (then) young grandchildren to see and hear him (although his dementia was quite advanced). You have to make that...
  16. Pete1

    Want to cry after visiting my mother

    Hi @Lemons, it's very tough as I think most feel the same way - my Mum was totally resistant to any outside help (Carers/Cleaners etc), however, I explained to her that it was to help me as much as her (which was true). I think @canary is right, it probably will come to head at some point soon...
  17. Pete1

    Hectic 48 hours with calmer waters in sight

    Good to hear @Agzy, it's been a difficult time, pleased you are getting some effective support 👍
  18. Pete1

    Want to cry after visiting my mother

    Hi @Lemons, I feel for you, its extremely distressing to witness. I experienced the same with my poor Mum who was oblivious of the continence issues - however, the continence Nurse did provide useful advice and with care support Mum would accept the pads. As we were self-funding I also arranged...
  19. Pete1

    Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

    Hi @annielou, sorry to hear you had another difficult and in someways sad day. it sounds as though Mum had a moment of clarity about her situation, and mentioning residential care - which is very difficult to hear, I can understand your sadness. The development of Mum recently moving seems to be...
  20. Pete1

    OH has now passed away

    My condolences @SoAlone, some great words of wisdom too. Take care of yourself.