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    Getting small jobs done!

    Get the word out among your friends, Reds, to see if there are any retired people nearby who would do small jobs for small prices. Most of the professional electricians, etc, have a call-out fee, which is what bumps up the prices. Especially now, with so many people out of work, you might get...
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    It just gets better!

    TNJJ, what a day! But then, I don't suppose it's too much out of the ordinary in your situation, is it? You reminded me of a time with my mum, before her dementia got very bad. We'd decided to take a run out in the car - one of her favourite things to do - and went to a place out in the...
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    I can't cope

    It sounds like residential care may be a good plan for your father, RosieLee. I know some people look after their parents for years, but others (me included) can't do that. Although I know I still feel guilty that I didn't look after my mum, I also know that in the circumstances, I did the...
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    Any advice but just an ear is fine

    My cousin has employed a 'Personal Assistant' for her mum. She does the laundry, sorts out medication, makes lunch, takes my aunt to the shops and does some cleaning. More than anything else, she keeps her company. At first she visited just once a week; now she does Monday - Friday, an hour...
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    Help - stressed and feeling guilty

    Elliehan, I can empathise with you whole-heartedly. I lived 200 miles from my mum - a 4-hour drive when there was little traffic. When she started with dementia, I wanted her to come and live with me, but realised that it would be impractical: I work during the day, so either I would have to...
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    what was the first thing you noticed that could be dementia?

    After having children, Mum had always struggled with her weight. I first noticed something was wrong when she started telling me about meals she'd been out for and how much she hadn't eaten. ("I had fish and chips, but I had to leave half of it," "We had a cream tea, but I only ate half of one...
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    An awkward/disgusting question (about a toilet issue)

    I would discuss this with the practice nurse at your dad's surgery. Getting professional help is often the way to go!
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    Should we move mum or bring her back?

    I think everybody on here who has had to move their loved one into a care home will be empathising with your dilemma, PMM. My mum passed away three years ago, but we're coming up to the anniversary of when I finally had to bite the bullet and find a place for her in a home. Even now, although...
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    Appropriate care for mum

    My cousin found herself in the same position as you with her father. She enlisted the help of her GP when this happened, and I think her father's increased needs led to him getting his care paid for, although I'm not totally sure of that. Good luck! Do let us know how you get on.
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    Mum is going to a care home early next week - what do I need to pack for her?

    Slippers were important to my mum when she was in the care home. They needed to be easy for her to put on and take off. We also prepared an electronic picture frame with digital photos which changed automatically. That worked well. For Christmas, my brother had a blanket made with photos of...
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    Dementia and Cancer

    Yes, Soulfood1998, it does seem to be quite normal. Your mum probably doesn't remember that she has dementia and so won't understand why she can't drive. Maybe you could remind her that she was about to have / had had a major operation and point out that driving now would invalidate her...
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    Living with Cancer and Dementia, Memories of Brian shared by his wife June Hennell MBE

    Brian sounds like a fantastic chap! Thank you for sharing these memories. In case others read his story and feel that they might, somehow, be at fault for a lack of optimism in their own loved one, I will add my own story. My mum had oesophageal cancer and vascular dementia. Very early on in...
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    Making cancer treatment decisions for a family member with dementia

    When Mum was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer, she still had capacity - although she had also been diagnosed with dementia. This meant that she was able to say that she didn't want to know what stage the cancer was at and that she didn't want anybody else to know that, either. Her dementia...
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    No communication

    My brother and I had POA for our mum, so this might make a difference, but … We were informed both times she fell, because the home wanted my brother to leave work and drive 50 miles to take her to the hospital the first time. The second time, they asked him to go to her town so that he could...
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    New to Dementia Talking Point: support for dealing with dementia and cancer

    Hi Duggie's-girl Sounds familiar! My mum had oesophageal cancer and vascular dementia. She did know she was ill, and with the first diagnosis of cancer told the doctors that she didn't want anybody - not even her - to know what stage she was at, nor did she want any treatment. Then things...
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    A low day

    Wow Marmarlade, that's lovely - and a reminder that somebody's passing isn't the end of our love for them. I hope you soon do find 'things to plan for', though!
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    How do you cheer yourself up?

    Yesterday, I walked into town and found the shops filling up with Christmas things and I was surprised by an overwhelming sadness, so much so that by the time I got home I was in floods of tears. This isn't like me, but... Christmas was always a great time in our house. Dad- who died of...
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    Mum has dementia and I’m scared

    Njs, yes, I'm sure you're scared - who wouldn't be in this situation? It was probably a good thing to move your mum to a flat when you did, because it will may well mean that she can live 'independently' for longer. We left it too late for our mum and so when she couldn't manage the stairs, or...
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    I feel lost

    I was in a similar position to you in 2015, Sanpan, and would say that all you can do is your best in these circumstances. There are two pieces of advice that I do have: 1) Try to get your mum involved in some local activities. Mine used to love singing, and even when she couldn't find words...
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    Finance for a carer in the family.

    I see no reason why you shouldn't employ a member of the family, but believe you would need to make sure that you follow all the rules and regs of any employment: she may need to pay tax on her earnings, you and she may need to pay national insurance contributions, she must be enrolled in a...