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    Im whinging again - any ideas

    It is such a hard situation, but from watching my dad struggle caring for my mum the one thing that she struggles with is questions. Do you want... Can you do...., she genuinely has no idea of the answers - it seems very obvious to us - it gets her very upset. My mum has also had...
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    How can I get my mother to have a wash?

    Same issues here with my mum, new live in carer managed to get her in the bath the other day, but it took her 5 hrs to get mum dressed again (including mum out, up the road in her dressing gown!) I realised today that mum had the same clothes on for three days, so ran the bath and we sat in...
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    Keep asking or just 'do'?

    This sounds just like my parents before my dad sadly died. Mum has mixed dementia/alz. Just get the help, we employ a family friend, firstly she came 'to clean' and help dad, but she became great friends with mum, and continues to come three times a week ( it now contributes to live in carers...
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    Keep Those Expired Passports - A Tip.....

    Might work, might not! I recently applied for a re-mortgage from HSBC and they wouldn't accept my recently expired passport as proof of identity, we've banked there for 18 years.....
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    Going to bed early

    My mum is the same at the moment, recent change of live in carer, then 2 weeks later change again, as things were calm we thought she was settled, but actually I think she has shut down a bit. she has not clicked with the new carer (who's leaving this weekend and another new one) and has spent...
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    Feeling rather odd!

    Hi, my father died just before xmas, and I found him in the morning, total autopilot until the funeral, barely cried. He had been ill for a few years (not dementia) and we'd had many scares/hospital visits and I had been very scared and upset regularly, and it was a bit of a relief really. Even...
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    dementiaville

    Just watched the 2nd half of this programme, as usual all the persons involved seem to be just happy and amenable, easily distracted, and not a all like my mum who can go from laughing -to total confusion in the blink of an eye, and is very distressed daily with what is/has happened to her over...
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    Daycare

    Blimey, I wish our was free and not means tested. My mum goes two days a week, weekly cost £110.80 ! They don't have a bus that passes near, So I have to drop her off/collect. Some days we don't get there til 10.30/11, and I have to try and pick mum up 3.30/4, as once most of the others get...
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    You have to laugh....or you would cry.

    very similar here! My mum always has knickers (clean) in her bag, usually a bra as well!!
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    Hi, am I in the right place?

    My mum has higher limit AA, my dad dealt with it before he died, but I think someone from/connected to the Council came out and filled the form in for her. (Kirklees, West Yorkshire) Try Admiral Nurses either.
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    This time last week

    Can only echo what others have said - in my darker moments I too hope my mum will just die in her sleep - to lessen the suffering. Take care.
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    Live in carer at home?

    we have one We have a live in carer for my mum and she's fab. My father died just before xmas, he had been main carer with daily assistance from me, I moved in with mum and stayed for 3 months, but it wasn't an ideal situation so we looked for live in care. The lady stays for max 6 weeks...
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    Dehydrated!

    My mum is exactly the same. Our new carer has been brilliant, Jelly as pudding, lots of salad/lettuce/cucumber, I never give her more than an inch of juice in the glass otherwise she leaves it. Mum also loves chocolate, so has chocolate drinks, or milk with honey seems to go down well.
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    Losing a joint attorney

    Hi, I had EPA jointly with my dad, for my Mum. He has recently passed away, so I have been told I am now just the only holder of the EPA - no problems
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    Magic of cuddly toy

    My mum has a virtual Zoo on her bed, soft toys and hand puppets of loads of animals - I assume she bought them originally for my nephews, but they've stayed. She especially likes Candy and Floss, two spaniel soft toys, mum used to breed Golden Cocker Spaniels when we were kids. Anything to...
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    Mum doesn't know me anymore

    I do let my mum wash up, I just take them off the drainer later and slip them into the dishwasher :) And she can still peel so she does the carrots and potatoes
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    A&e

    so sad to hear this, hope you feel better soon.- I am getting increasingly wary of my mum, who was the kindest gentlest mum ever, but she has been getting increasingly frustrated, and I know she has a few set-to's with my dad last year when she was upset. such a cruel disease x
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    How am I doing? I dunno...

    VonVee, the only thing that got me upset when the Care for the Carer lady called to see me was the fact that I was neglecting my dogs and horses! I have 3 terriers, one is with me at my mums all the time (he's a baby/wuss) I've had to put no.2 in doggy day/nightcare during the week and I can...
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    How am I doing? I dunno...

    I really feel for you - I have been living with my mum more or less 24/7 since dad died before xmas. I am the only one who 'can' do this, I have no kids and my partner works away from home during the week, so we're used to not seeing each other. But we are suffering too, and my poor dogs are...
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    What to do now?????

    Thanks Goldi, yes SS keep saying take some respite, that's why we did this, and its backfired. Off to hunt for another CH in West Yorkshire that can cope - any suggestions?