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    Being aware of dementia

    what's in a name? Hi Peter and Janice, it seems we are all caught up with the problem of whether it matters what we call it, and who it matters to. I have a friend who has cerebral palsy - remember when we used to call them spastics? The Spastics Society changed its name to Scope to get away...
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    Being aware of dementia

    the "A" word I wish we could eradicate the fear and stigma that seems to surround the word Alzheimer's! Is it any worse than the C word? I found that I needed some way to explain to other people (in restaurants, hotels, the taxi driver, whoever) why they needed to take special care, and so I...
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    working and caring - help!

    Dear egg, If you're the plate-spinner, I'll be the juggler! What a double-act! Don't use the best crockery as a few of them may get cracked along the way. It DOESN'T MATTER! But keep them spinning - without getting into too much of a spin yourself!
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    Eating and drinking

    Andrea, I don't think 'wishing her dead' is quite the same as 'not wishing to prolong her life'. Very understandably, you don't want to prolong her life now, because, as you say, she's just a shell, and really she left you some years ago. And as there's no hope of her recovering, there's only...
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    Being aware of dementia

    Dear Susie, Your thoughtful reply confirms that having a diagnosis of AD is both painful and comforting, and maybe the disease itself helps to cushion the sharpest twist. By the time you get a diagnosis, you are not so likely to be too aware of all the implications. But dealing with the future...
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    Eating and drinking

    'if only...' - don't go there! Dear Andrea, I know these must be very difficult days for you, your sister and your Dad. Just try not to think 'if only'... We can never know what might have happened 'if only'. So stay with the present; you are facing a very difficult situation and you're...
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    Eating and drinking

    AD + diabetes That's an extra problem, isn't it? If there's a chance of her going back to the same place for respite in future, how would you feel about that? Would you want to talk to them first?
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    Eating and drinking

    changing medication I think the important thing is to monitor the effects of any change for long enough to see what's happening, in a supervised environment, and to listen to what those closest say when they notice things!
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    Being aware of dementia

    Nada, Sounds interesting; will read it! Thanks.
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    Eating and drinking

    Andrea, let's hope that your mum will improve, and certainly it will give your dad a break. Just make sure that even in respite care the staff give her enough to drink! It can be even harder for them, because they are all so busy! But I'm sure you are supporting your Dad, and that's a great...
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    Eating and drinking

    Have you read the Alzheimer's Society factsheet on eating? Is your mum's problem with swallowing, chewing or not knowing that she's hungry? A speech therapist told us that sometimes AD patients don't really realize when they have food in their mouths - especially when it's just warm slush. Cold...
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    Being aware of dementia

    being aware of dementia - or not I guess the situation is like cancer - but even more depressing because there is no possibility of a cure. Some people want to know and others don't. But with AD maybe the carer is even more important because they are really carrying the burden for the sufferer...
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    Being aware of dementia

    Dear egg, I was reading back over some of the messages (not sure I really understand threads etc...) and I am surprised that (unless it's there and I can't find it) not many people seemed to talk about the problem of how to help people - usually younger? - who are aware of the significance of...
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    working and caring - help!

    Dear Izzy, hope term started well for you! Down here, school holidays still last another two weeks, but we didn't break up till late July. It's funny to think of all those children starting school - and looking forward to it, I hope! - while we are all worried by things at the other end of...
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    working and caring - help!

    coming to terms with AD Dear egg, I imagine that for someone like your husband, who is sufficiently self-aware to realize what the diagnosis of Alzheimer's means, it can feel really frightening. And of course it's extra hard for you because you're trying to reassure him, when you really need a...
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    working and caring - help!

    term time looming! Dear egg, your last message sounded a bit desperate, as though your husband's anxieties about the coming term, and your return to work, were making you more worried, too. I hear everyone say: just cope with the present, but personally I found it helpful to try to look just...
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    Humanism

    non-religious funerals My father died of AD three weeks ago and I made it clear to the undertakers that we wanted a non-religious funeral. The undertakers contacted someone (I'm not sure if he's a humanist) who came to see us in advance to talk to me about my father, and he led the service...
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    Care Homes (dual purpose)

    finding a care home You can use the CSCI website (www.csci.org.uk) to find residential homes in your area and to read the latest inspection reports on them; the reports also have information about fees, staffing, accommodation, etc. I think you should look for homes which take residents with...
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    working and caring - help!

    Izzy - you're amazing! Being a primary school headteacher AND caring for your husband with AD - you're fantastic! I really admire you! Enjoy the rest of the holiday!
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    working and caring - help!

    Dear Egg, Full marks for trying! It was very brave of you to phone the LEA and explore the possibilities for some 'paid leave'; even if you didn't come away with an obvious answer, it has given them something to think about and every time you ask, it is easier the next time, like a rehearsal...