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    What are the signs

    sad news My mum died yesterday afternoon. Just slipped away. Recieved a phone call telling us and i feel relieved that she doesnt have to suffer any more. Would like to say a big thankyou to all of you out there. This forum has helped in lots of ways to help me through. Will keep...
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    What are the signs

    Hi All Thanks for your replies. We have had a chat with the consultant and he says mum is nearing the end. Theres no more to be done. her body is shutting down. I requested that her life was not prelonged any more and he said that the drips would be taken down. He said it might take several...
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    So upset ...

    Hi Sheila I have to agree with Helen, sometimes you need to take a break from visiting. I have been in your situation. Dad and I would visit mum, she would become very distressed, especially when it was time for us to leave, both emotionally and aggressively. I felt that we were just...
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    What are the signs

    Hi Rummy Thanks for sharing your experience. By skin breaking down do you mean pressure sores (bed sores)????? As for the blood tests I’m just told the bloods show abnormalities. As for the hospice, I’m not sure what the situation is in England. I was under the impression that they were...
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    A bit of a difficult question..... sorry

    Hi DaisyG My mum was very violent, anything could set her off. If spoke too loud, if you didn’t speak at all. There was no reason or pattern to her outbursts except to day that all the things she found hard to tolerate when she was well were the things that really made her violent and...
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    What are the signs

    Hi everyone. I've tried to post this a few times and haven’t because I don’t wish to refresh painful memories in anyone yet I like to know some other peoples experiences. My mum is now in hospital, after spending the last year in a care home. She has vas dem and I would say is in stage 7. My...
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    Going into care home without consent?

    Hi Louise I sympathise with your problems. In my own experience with my Mum, it got to a point where my father just couldn’t cope anymore and so something had to be done. I plagued the doctor, consultant and everyone else I could think of with constant phone calls pleading for help. They...
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    Mum and flowers

    gardening Hi My mum was just the same. She loved her bedding plants and the lawn was always cut at least twice a week. But in the time before she went to the nursing home she tried to set plants but didnt know how, and she only moaned at my dad for spending too much time outside. she coudnt...
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    Difference between care home and residential

    hi perfectpatience have you tried looking at the factsheets, link top right hand corner, Ive always found them very good. Its my belief that the main difference with a nursing home is that some of the staff have to be trained nurses. Not just carers. Do you have a cpn or social worker...
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    De-hydration

    hi all Mum went into hospital, as she was dehydrated and not eating. She is now on a drip and has a catheter, as they weren’t happy about her urine. A nurse also told me her bloods were up and down???? (What does this mean)? My question is how long will they continue with the drip. I...
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    Loss of mobility

    lost the will to walk Hi All Ive been reading this post with interest as mobility seems to be my mums present problem. Up to a few weeks ago she was very mobile, especially when violent, kicking etc. but now she just seems to have given up. I was shocked to see her in a wheel chair in the...
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    My father has vascular dementia

    hi lizee My mum also has vas dementia, and her symtoms seem very similar to your dads. She refused all personal care from the nh and was aggressive to the carers and inmates. So much so that the dementia care home she was in for a year could not cope. she is now in an assessment unit. Where...
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    "I feel fine"

    How i wish i could visit my mum and brighten her day a little, or even bring a glimmer of contentment to her. I can understand where you are coming from when you think that people are being selfish for not visiting but i feel i am selfish if i do go. As i have said before, when i visit i walk...
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    Care Home Not Enough

    Hi. Mums care home are not able to cope with her violence any more. She is now back in an assessment ward. Just wondered if any of you have had a similar experience. and ideas of what happens now. I feel we are back to where we were a year ago, only now Mums worse and the thought of...
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    A constant battle...

    Dear Worried Woman there is no normal with this illness,but paranoia does seem to be fairly commom. My mum suffers and has done so for serveral years. she accuses us of plotting against her, and when we were trying to get medical help, she denied every symtom and accused us of lying. she...
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    A constant battle...

    So is the paranoia thing normal?
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    We just don't know what to do

    Pat I really can identify with your post. You are not alone in this situation My mother has been in a nursing home since last August after being sectioned because she refused all treatments, and was getting very violent to my father (her main carer). She has found it very hard to settle...
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    First review meeting with home

    Hi Dave My mum went into a care home last July. Unfortunately Dad and I (I am an only child) are mums enemies. She wasn’t the easiest person to get on with before her illness and Dementia has really brought out the worse traits. So I know how it feels to be the blunt of the insults. She also...
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    Dads Notes

    care plan Not sure what the official answerer is. Only i was given a copy of my mums care plan by her CPN and care home. We all had a meeting last week to keep the family informed as to medications ect. I am not next of kin ( this is my Father) but i do have EPOA. I think i would be a bit...
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    Finding a Nursing Home

    noelphobic None taken. We have to keep our sense of humours. Especially when i get accused by mum of not caring about her and if i was not out with all my men i would have more time for her. Im happily married for well over 20 yrs and the chance would be a fine thing!!