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  1. M

    My dad has passed....

    @MaNaAk this is something I remind myself of regularly. I feel one of the lucky ones that he still knew his family and his grandchildren. Take care and look after yourself x
  2. M

    My dad has passed....

    Thank you everyone for your thoughtful messages. And yes it absolutely made the difference in me being able to say my Goodbye. I truly hope you and your loved ones can stay safe and well during these uncertain and scary times. Lots of love xx
  3. M

    My dad has passed....

    @canary it was such a comfort, it meant the world. I appreciate your many hugs :-) x One thing I forgot to include in my post was just how in ore of the medical staff we as a family were. They worked so very hard and nothing was too much trouble. They all deserve huge respect for their...
  4. M

    My dad has passed....

    So yesterday my dad with Vascular Dementia lost his fight against Covid-19. His Care Home had rung for an ambulance after he had been unwell for a couple of days with sickness bug. He was tested positive for Covid and we just knew he would not cope. He had COPD amongst other medical...
  5. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Thanks for the explanation @canary. Like everyone on this forum, I have found myself thrust into a world I had previously no experience or knowledge of.
  6. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Thank you @Banjomansmate and @Sarasa @Sarasa we are self funding too. But was informed by the original SW that if we source a home via SS that the rates would be reduced. Hence going through SS rather than directly to a CH. But it sounds like by doing so that they now have some sort of...
  7. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    I contacted the Social Care team last week to extend my dad's respite (mum is still in hospital, heading into the 4th week) The First Response SW had handed us over to a local team so I spoke to a different SW who we have been allocated. She hadn't actually read the notes but had seen she'd...
  8. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    My goodness @Wishing20 our circumstances are very similiar indeed. I am sorry to hear of your dad's heart attack and that you poor mum has this evil disease. I really hope your dad makes a full lrecovery. Thanks for sharing your situation, it really does help me to cope with our own...
  9. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    @jugglingmum @Helly68 @Sirena @Canadian Joanne - Thank you. So far the close friends and family members we have told have been supportive. To our faces anyway! It amazes me that when the subject is brought up, how many people have been where we are and can empathise. Which is really...
  10. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    @Roseleigh yes that’s what I’m doing. My mum is already worrying ‘about what people will think’. So I’m trying hard to convince her those who have anything other than support and understanding are not real friends. Like someone said previously- no one wants to do this, the situation forces...
  11. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Thank you @Sirena and @Sarasa My mum’s heart rate is still erratic but we’re hoping the meds will stabilise it. I’m just visiting with a smile on my face to keep her from worrying. I know she feels guilty but after speaking to the home yesterday the lady I spoke to was so understanding and...
  12. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    I’ve not told mum but the home phoned yesterday. Dad was very very anxious wanting to speak to mum. They tried to calm him down. An hour later they called back. He was in a real state and I spoke to him. It was the worst thing I could’ve done. It made him worse and he was begging me to bring...
  13. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Yes the financial side of things is uncomfortable but moving forward we need to be fully equipped with as much info as possible. So thanks for the info. Much appreciated x
  14. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    @Sirena and thank you and other members on this Forum for guiding and helping me through this - I really can't put into words how much your help, advice and understanding means to me. @Roseleigh you're right - thank you for pointing what was staring me in the face. If, god forbid my mum...
  15. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Thanks. Myself and my husband have had this very conversation. This is the second time in 2 years that mum has been admitted into hospital, for the same heart problems. The stress of her situation has definitley contributed to her health issues. And with mum now talking honestly about how...
  16. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Hi @mancmum - thanks for your reply. I did try the writing reminders on the white board thing a couple of years ago - in the days when he could be left alone. Same thing as you. Putting the answers to the questions he would always ask. Unfortunately it didn't work for us. He just wouldn't...
  17. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Thank you @northumbrian_k and I am very sorry to hear that you have had this journey with your wife. This is why this forum is invaluable. I know that you know how I feel. We ring the home daily and although he’s telling everyone he’s not staying - he’s sat in the lounge watching tv. And...
  18. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    Thanks @Helly68 - in the moment I knew we were doing the right thing, but then I overthink it and start doubting the decision. You’re right. It’s hard when the roles reverse. It’s going to be hard but I need to get a bit stronger to deal with the decision making. And yes, things couldn’t...
  19. M

    Temporary respite care home - how to address it?

    I cried all the way home too @Helly68 and for most of the night. It’s so hard knowing you’re doing all you can to care and protect yet feeling cruel at the same time. Good advice re distraction when we leave after a visit. Yes the staff we met seemed pretty well equipped with how to handle...