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    Goodbye Mum

    So sorry to hear your news @Kikki21 - you've done so much for your mum. At least doing all the practical stuff gives you a bit of focus amidst the weirdness, and lets you feel like you're still doing something for her. For me, this part of the forum has been just as much of a godsend as the...
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    I'm so sorry to hear of everyone’s heartache

    It is truly heartbreaking, @Sadsoul - and your two accounts of your parents' experiences really show how dementia can vary from person to person. I hope your mum is at least comfortable, and the only advice I can offer is to take care of yourself, try to remember better times, and keep coming to...
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    Trying to get a doctor to see Mums dementia

    We wrote to mum's GP in advance, and I'd definitely recommend this. Confidentiality rules mean that the GP can't really discuss your mum's condition with you, but at least he'll have the information - if possible I think it's good to include specific examples that show how she's deteriorated...
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    After Loss...

    Wise words, @LadyA - we were discussing this at work yesterday, that even after the death of a partner or very close relative, the usual amount of leave you're allowed is only a few days, which is hopelessly inadequate - just the basic practicalities of registering the death and arranging the...
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    And so it begins.....

    So glad for you and your mum that you had such a good experience @Kikki21, and thinking of you and wishing you both peace. If only dementia really was just about memory loss!
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    And so it begins.....

    Thinking of you @Kikki21 - so hard to be going through all these ups and downs at this stage - as if you've not had enough of those over the years already! I hope the waiting isn't too long, and hope you feel the support of all the TP people on the road beside you. I've often wished that there...
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    cointinuing questions

    It is really hard to cope with, but I used to try to imagine what it must be like for the PWD, being vaguely aware that something's wrong, that they can't remember things etc and how important it would be for them to get some reassurance that everything is OK and they don't need to worry (not...
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    Mother wandering in the night

    Same with our late mum too - she often phoned us in the middle of the night to ask where everyone was (she lived alone at that stage), and it took a lot of circular conversations to get her to go back to bed until a more sensible hour. Awareness of time seems to be one of the first things that...
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    Mum in hospital again

    So sorry to hear this @Kikki21 - what a time you've had (and are still having)! I hope there's peace for you both soon xxx
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    Really struggling...

    Hi @mrsclairej - a diagnosis does feel like a bombshell, but on the plus side it can also help you to get access to more help and support from doctors, social services etc. And coming to Talking Point is definitely a good move - you'll get so much practical advice and support here from people...
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    What is end of life care?

    So sorry to hear this sad news @Tubbsy - take care of yourself.
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    The Lighter Side Of Alzheimers

    Mum always had a way with words, even as the actual number she used declined. During one of her spells in hospital, we were all sitting around her bed in a quiet ward when she let out a very loud blast of wind - and as if that wasn't hilarious enough, she then chuckled 'Wow, that was spectacular!'
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    RIP Mum

    Thinking of you, @echo66 - it's just over a year since my mum died, and I still find it hard to adjust to the changes in routines, even the good ones - I still have Wednesdays off work, which used to be 'mum's day' even before dementia took hold, and some weeks I feel really lost, even though I...
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    Just been reading about this on the BBC website - an app that helps people to record messages, memories etc to pass on to their families - might be of use/interest: And the BBC article:
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    What is end of life care?

    My sympathies @Tubbsy - it's a horrible, difficult time. My mum also had 'terminal agitation' in her last couple of days - couldn't seem to get comfortable, and at one point kept raising her arms and looked like she was writing on a blackboard. It was very distressing to see, but soon after she...
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    1st steps after mum

    Lovely post, @lilaclady, and I wish you strength and comfort. Gestures like that carer's can help so much, and it's good to keep them in mind when times are hard. My mum died after only a week in her nursing home, but the carers there were wonderful - we left the room briefly and returned to...
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    Feeling a bit overwhelmed

    Thinking of you @KathrynAnne xxx
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    Seeing uncle before cremation.

    It's a hard decision, and I think it's possible that whatever choice you make, you'll have mixed feelings afterwards. Many people say that their relatives look very different after death and prefer to remember them as they were. Like them, I didn't visit either of my parents in the chapel of...
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    How long?

    Wise words @JoJo2821, and condolences for your loss - mothers are special, and an especially hard loss. You're so right about all the fighting, but hold on to those wonderful memories you describe so beautifully above - the 'real' mum and the good days. And, as Canary said, you were there for...
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    Unconsciousness after seizures - need advice please

    Hello @SHB, and sorry to hear of this situation. I'm no expert, but my late mum also ended up hospitalised after a series of seizures - she didn't lose consciousness like your MIL, rallied fairly quickly and was eventually discharged, but her awareness and general health deteriorated markedly...