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    Mum's assets are running down. What happens now?

    My husband was transferred over to social funding last year. It did take a while to sort - but he was refunded over-payments once it was all finalised
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    Best Care For Dad With Dementia

    Hi.. You've had a lot of good advice. I just thought I'd add a bit more-as your mother's situation is similar to my own, although I was a lot younger than your mum (51) when my husband was diagnosed. I cared for husband at home for eight years- with no help from any of my three step daughters...
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    How long can my luck last?

    It's so different for each person-which I know doesn't help. My husband was diagnosed 10 years ago -when 58. He was able to stay at home with me for 8 years but has been in full time care for the last 2. With hindsight( that wonderful thing!) I maybe should have listened to friends/family and...
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    Enough is Enough

    Good advice being given here. I was in a similar place after 8 years of caring-and asked for a carer's assessment as I was so close to carer breakdown. I was lucky in that I got the most amazing social worker who told me that if I didn't plan ahead I could be looking at a crisis placement for OH...
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    'Top Up' for mum's home care

    You cannot be forced to pay a top up; whatever SS say, they have the responsibility to make sure she is cared for in the correct way. The only way you could be asked to pay is if they had a suitable option that was cheaper and you wanted a more expensive one-but their option must meet her needs...
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    Ever had a falling out with your (pwd's) carers?

    I may be wrong...but on your last point-I thought a house could be disregarded from a financial assessment if a relative over 60 lived in it ( sorry-don't know your age!)? May be worth checking if this applies to yourself?
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    What is on a Carer's Wish List?

    Always felt like you could only refuse once you -the carer- had completely broken down.Yes, legally you can-but.....
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    What is on a Carer's Wish List?

    An understanding that not all dementia sufferers are elderly and retired. Those of us with younger partners-who have had to stop work early and lose their income- have often had to give up our own careers early. This also has a huge knock on affect on a carer's occupational pensions-for ever. We...
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    Depression, mine not OH

    Hi. When I hit rock bottom my (our) GP was very firm and told me I either had to try antidepressants or go to counselling. I was wary of tablets-my family history is full of addictions in various ways-so went for counselling-which was a life saver. I know it depends upon getting the right...
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    Social services and LPA

    Did you keep a copy of the LPA before it got sent off...or will your solicitor have one? That may help if you can take it along and explain it's just being registered?
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    Money worries

    Remember that SS are obliged to provide care according to your mother's needs-not according to their finances-plus there is not really a 'legal' cap to what they will pay-if the only home that suits her is more than they say, they have to finance it although we're all aware that there is not a...
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    Care home funding

    There are people on here who know much more than I do-but have you had a 'best interests' meeting? Remind social services that she is a vulnerable adult and they are responsible for ensuring her care is suitable/safe. Keep notes-every little thing you notice -to support your case. It also...
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    Aggression getting worse

    I couldn't talk about OH in front of him at GPs -so I kept a list on which I noted down his behaviours-and dropped it in just before appointment ( eventually emailed updates to GP-at his request) Also did same with memory clinic. This really helped as they had a full picture of what was...
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    Aggression getting worse

    You shouldn't have to put up with abuse of any sort - and you are entitled to support. Have you contacted social services for a carer's assessment? Emphasise that there has been physical assault and that you may not be safe. They have a duty of care to you as well as the person with dementia...
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    Mum wants to 'go home' but she is home

    Maybe say that she can -once the decorators have finished/boiler's fixed/new carpets are down etc? You may need to say this often.....but it might be easier than trying to convince her that's she's wrong? Hopefuly this will just be a passing phase -fingers crossed! Sah
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    My husband has been in a care home for nearly two years.I still teach one/two days a week but last winter was bleak-I nearly went under-so I began volunteering at the local National Trust place this year. Only have to do one day a fortnight-can do more if you want to. Best thing I've done in...
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    Hospital/Social worker - trust destroyed, desperate

    Hiya. My husband has just moved from self funding to LA funding so I had to brush up on all this! Just to reinforce advice you've been given. House totally disregarded whilst mum is alive...they cannot take it into account at all. Is it held in Tenants in Common? That way, mum can safe guard...
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    Help with Funding Residential Care

    Hi. When I was dealing with this for my husband -I was advised to refer to Article 8 of the European Human Rights Act - the right to a family life. So-if the home they suggest makes it difficult for family members to maintain a relationship, they are not acceptable. They should only place...
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    I am beginning to get rather annoyed....

    I've just gone through the whole process of moving my husband from self funding to LA. I was preparing for a fight-but the LA have just agreed to finance his care ( Hurrah!!!) without moving him, which they had wanted to do. I think we got this result for several reasons-hope these help: 1)They...