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  1. L

    Need advice for moving parent out of care home.

    Dear@AvrilK , whilst I admire your sentiments I am going to implore you not to do it. Your freedom to look after your grandchild, school runs (when that restarts), spontaneity to go and walk because the weather is fab, your privacy etc will all disappear. You will also be bringing other...
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    What do I Do Now

    Contact the Admiral Nurses - they are there for you as the Carer. So thankful for support I have had trying to come to terms with PWD changes, challenges of caring, feelings of despair, burn out and so on. They can help navigate The System and apply pressure to get stuff done too. You can tell...
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    How long ago can symptoms have appeared?

    Yes, it is only in retrospect that I realise my OH had been displaying signs - unfortunately I can now put a present financial situation right back to some odd unilateral decisions that he took years ago; when it first started to come to light he was unable to explain what he’d done or why...
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    Coronavirus and shopping: your experiences

    Another vote for the CoOp here - local one is doing the best they can and the staff have been fantastic so far. Pretty much everything except eggs two days ago. I’d dearly love to get the paper but have resigned myself to the online version for now - all set to use old copies cut up, put on a...
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    Why do family never listen or help ?

    May I echo your admiration of @Hazara8 words - perfectly put. @Bunpoots - maybe we’re related as it was reported to me that my SIL has also posted something very similar; as you say lip service and clueless, in fact worse than that as same person then castigated me for my behaviour towards my...
  6. L

    Sad news

    Oh Philbo, what can I say? I can’t think of words that would even touch it... ((((((( huge hug ))))))) xx
  7. L

    It's not dementia killing me, it's exhaustion....

    Just watched this and cried at the hopeless recognition of seeing that OH and me are in pretty much the same situation. I just want to curl up and die, I’m so tired. Trying to hold down some kind of semblance of a career I once had (financial and mental necessity) whilst juggling all the caring...
  8. L

    Alzheimer’s and my family

    Well said @RosettaT , especially the inadequacies bit. (((Hug))) from here for @Gillywilly too xx
  9. L

    UTIs, seizures and hospital

    Hello Canary, just reading this through; If he’s in hospital then there is a SW dept that should be able to help you; I had to abandon my usual scepticism when we were introduced to a really helpful senior SW time before last on one of OHs unscheduled admissions. The catheter tube and torso...
  10. L

    Don’t know what to do

    Worth knowing that ‘water tablets’ can also muck up electrolyte levels so if potassium levels drop then that can also add to confusion; rock and hard place... Thinking of you - hospitals at weekends anyway let alone with PWD suffering from all sorts is a nightmare. Wishing you strength. Xx
  11. L


    Hope this doesn’t sound too simplistic (handling, literally sadly, incontinence is a compromise as to what works best individually) but try decaf tea and coffee as caffeine can exacerbate bladder spasms, this can also sometimes explain different behaviour on return from elsewhere such as daycare...
  12. L

    UTIs, seizures and hospital

    Feel free to pm me on the subject of indwelling catheters - lots of experience here with OH PWD. Happy to help. Xx
  13. L


    Echo others on getting Continence Service on board but push to get enough pull ups per day otherwise they try to fob you off with not enough and expect your OH to sit in it as ‘surely you can’t need more than 4 per day?’ They’ll also push you to accept net knickers and pads (cheaper for them no...
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    @Sirena - wish this would work for OH but sadly not. @nae sporran and @marionq are spot on re bedding, can also add have had success with lightweight washable/tumble dry duvet with a fleecy blanket over the top both of which survive wash well and the blanket seems to be a comfort for OH too.
  15. L

    Not coping well with toileting mum

    Oh Andrew_McP - OMG that made me laugh out loud after being a big blubby girls blouse with the carers just now. Big thank you - I’ll be ‘humming’ those tunes
  16. L

    Questions and yet no answers

    Norrms - big thank you from here; you’ve just turned my failing battery torch attempt to shine a light on this and understand into a huge bright spotlight. OH, dearly beloved, just can’t explain either but this helps me understand a bit better why that is. Big hug all round. Xxx
  17. L

    How many of us manage to keep a job going?

    I now freelance - nuff said.....
  18. L

    So is this it...?

    You’ve not let your Dad down, far from it. I’m so sorry to read this thread and really empathise with the difficulties sometimes experienced with some health ‘professionals’ however my gut feeling on reading this is that advisedly you’ve got your big girl knickers on (I completely get how...
  19. L

    His bad mobility is making life more difficult.

    It’s so difficult isn’t it - the deterioration each time following hospital admission is heartbreaking. I get so angry with the constant roundelay of ‘medically fit’ ‘therapy fit’ and so on to go home, what about ‘Carer fit’? It’s us that ends up trying to cope with the changes each time. On a...