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  1. L


    Your words mirror very closely the behaviour that my mum displays often packing bags, not realising she is in fact at home and not able to start any meaningful activity without someone else prompting/supporting. Even if I am in the same room, perhaps trying to do some work on my laptop, mum...
  2. L

    Feeling so lost

    my mum has frequent seizures and fainting up to about 30 seconds and then she regains awareness. When they first started it was scary because a) anyone having a seizure or fainting is scary and b) i had never seen my mum like that before. One time in hospital after a fall i witnessed her have a...
  3. L

    Can’t cope with visiting any more...

    when your loved one rants and raves there is no pleasure in the experience for either of you. I already grieve the loss of my mum because it is just not her anymore.
  4. L

    Phone Calls

    I sometimes disconnect the phone to stop calls at unwanted times. My mum usually forgets she even tried to call.
  5. L


    You just have to go along with what your loved one with denentia says because for them it is the truth. With the football I would say something like, well its a really good match and is worth watching again! When I mention or drive past any place with my mum she always earnestly says "I've been...
  6. L

    Can’t cope anymore

    Where a loved one has lost mental capacity and presents risks to themselves and to others, we all have to make really tough choices in their best interests and also take account of other affected family too. I think you have done the right thing in asking for external assistsnce.
  7. L

    Sugar in her coffee

    My mum started hugging me when i arrived and left her house - she was never a huggy person previously!
  8. L

    Caring for my mum with Alzheimer's.

    There comes a point where you just have to start getting some form of care in, even if it is only to be able to give yourself a break!
  9. L

    Mum update and meal advice please

    I would recommend Parsleybox - these are ready meals which are cooked in the microwave and which have an extremely long expiry date. Dont take as long for the carers to prepare so gives them time to actually ensure your relative eats the food! I would also ask the carers to get your mum as...
  10. L

    Feeling invisible and need to chat!

    Hi i just read your post and the replies. I find myself in a similar situation with my mum. she is obviously my mum and yet at the same time this disease has changed her personality and behaviour so much that it sometimes feels like she is just a person who i happen to care for. There are...
  11. L

    Sugar in her coffee

    My mum has never really liked animals or pets but she was at a garden centre with a friend and started raving about how cute a small fluffy toy sheep was. Totally not in character. She also hugs people now, she would never have done that previously.
  12. L

    MIL had a fall - ideas please re camera?

    I bought a logitech camera that i set up on my mums driveway and front door. It also captures audio. It records all movement detected for 24 hours and you can save clips if you want. No ongoing subscription unless you want the more advanced features.
  13. L

    Giving covert sedative

    My mum is spending many hours a day very upset and anxious. She still lives alone at home and currently has lunch support visiting. She is very defiant about her condition and resents having any kind of support. She also refuses to take any medicines as she believes all medicine is poison. I...
  14. L

    Wet cold miserable Saturday night! Wonderful moment!

    Little moments like that are so precious
  15. L

    How do they judge he has capacity

    My mum recently very grudgingly started accepting lunchtime support visits (only after a fall and a week in hospital). The care coordinator came to interview mum at home and she gave a wonderful performance stating she could cook and ate perfectly well and did not need any support. My mum is...
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    When does self denial and neglect get too much and state steps in

    Hi demi I am so sorry to hear of the situation with your mum. What you describe is what I am fearing may happen with my mum. At the moment I am nudging and cajoling Mum to continue to accept lunchtime visits. I know that if I push her too far she is likely to turn around and snap at me and...
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    When does self denial and neglect get too much and state steps in

    Thank you for your replies. Mum is in the overall care system so to speak. She has already fallen several times and on many occasions has been starving which I think has contributed to her feeling dizzy and falling. She insists that she can still cook and still eats well but that is just...
  18. L

    Not sure who I am dealing with

    Try to stay strong for both of you but also allow yourself what i call 'upset' time because its not good to keep it all bottled up. 80% of the time i am practical and pragmatic, 10% i am frustrated and 10% i am upset.
  19. L

    lucid moments can be hard to take

    My mum is completely defiant about her condition. A moment of lucidity would be a relief for me but i can completely appreciate it being equally heartwrenching.
  20. L

    Not sure who I am dealing with

    Yes what you describe is typical. The moments you still get which are almost normal you need to treasure. I had about 15 minutes this morning with my mum where we had an almost normal conversation which included a very funny bit which we both genuinely laughed at, cant remember the last time...