Its difficult to speak freely to the Drs when your partner is with you, so it may be helpful to write your concerns & anything you would like the DR to know & get it to them before your appointment. That way they will understand the problems and your wife wont get upset. Even if she insists on...
When my mum went into a CH in 2011, her house had to be cleared quickly. It was an LA owned house & we had 2 weeks to do it. As mum was a hoarder ( we found calendars from 1982! ) speed was necessary. We offered to family & friends , but there was so much. In the end, it went to charity shops...
We moved my mum to a different LA, so she'd be closer to us. Her original L.A. carried on funding.
We were lucky, the original L.A. paid less than the one we moved mum to ( around £50 a month light) but the new CH accepted her anyway, without top up.
I remember we'd gone for ages with mum not being able to have a conversation & then one day there was an entertainer who had sparkly heels on her shoes. Mum stared, pointed & said "Nice"
clear as anything :)
I used to try to gauge the feeling behind what my mum was saying , her facial expressions could usually help (not always, but mostly.)
If I wasn't sure I used to go for a kind of non committal reply & try to change the subject.
Yes it's lovely isn't it? We have the 4x4 people taking NHS staff in to work , our local Taxi firm offered to pick up essentials for people who were struggling as "They were out & about anyway" & people on FB have been offering their help too.
It is very easy, I remember once saying I wanted to speak about some things of mums that had gone missing. I was given the stock answer "Oh, Ethel moves stuff and leaves it in others rooms"
Problem was, what was missing was the table lamp (unlikely mum would have unplugged it ) and her tub...
I too had a difficult relationship with my mother, so understand some of what you are feeling. It is difficult when, despite doing your best , you get the blame for everything, both real & imagined.
It's been said on here, You can't change how someone behaves, you can control how...
It's back to the "Fluffy absent minded little old lady/man " thing that people who haven't experienced Dementia think it is. . How lovely if mum only forgot where she left her slippers instead of the reality :mad:
My elderly neighbour , aged 94 but sharp as a tack, always asks after mum, so I told her mum had died. Her son was with her, he's mid 50's.
He knew my mum had dementia, he asked "Did she know you?" & I said not for quite a while, no.
"It's odd isn't it?" he said " How they remember long...
My mum died last week & we are trying to sort out the funeral. The question of music came up.....|Did she have a favourite song? & I realised I don't remember the last time I had a proper conversation with her, it seems dementia chewed everything up & spat out muddle & confusion & wading...
Thank you for sharing your choices with me , all beautiful
Things are coming together now.
Mum hadn't been seen by a Dr for over two weeks so it had to go to Coroner.
Dr. did the death certificate, but is now on holiday so can't do his part of the green form until he gets back on 6Th...
My mum died last week & now we are able to plan her funeral.
I've got the middle (Over The Rainbow, Eva Cassidy) & The leaving ( Intermezzo Cavalleria Rusticana ).
I've Chosen the reading, but am stuck on Going in music. I want something soothing & calm if you know what I mean?