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  1. Amethyst59

    Two years to get this bad. What now?

    Hello, Al! I got a puppy too, last year and she has been a life saver. On the subject of support...I had a phone call last week from a local volunteer charity. I had been signed up with them when Martin was first diagnosed and now I have reached the top of the list! Would I like three hours a...
  2. Amethyst59

    Can I ... Should I?

    Oh, Lordy...I hope you didn’t catch anything from me. I should have worn a paper bag over my head.
  3. Amethyst59

    And so it begins.....

    I don’t know if this will help you to know, but in my late husband’s last hours, the nurses told me that he might appear to be struggling, but it is the body struggling...and the person is not always aware. I found it a comfort. I truly hope that your lovely mum is having a peaceful night and...
  4. Amethyst59

    And so it begins.....

    You are in our thoughts x
  5. Amethyst59

    NHS Continuing Care application refused: legal charge put on property

    Heavens this is a complicated matter. You might find that one of the members has experience of this, but it might be a better option for you to telephone the help line. They really are helpful. National Dementia Helpline 0300 222 11 22 Our helpline advisers are here for you. Helpline opening...
  6. Amethyst59

    New Year - what’s ahead

    Same here...my husband has asked about his state of health and life expectancy. He has asked about the latter since his diagnosis years ago. I’ve lied each time, and said it varies so much it cannot be estimated. I reasoned that if he had really wanted to know he could have asked the doctor or...
  7. Amethyst59

    Alzheimer’s medications

    Hello, @Hope46, welcome to Talking Point. While none of us are experts, you will find that the members have a lot of experience between them, and we are a friendly bunch. As for your specific question, my understanding is that who prescribed medication varies between geographical areas. In my...
  8. Amethyst59

    Pets as Therapy

    It might be worth following up the church suggestion above. I’ve recently acquired a puppy and take her in to my husband’s care home. It has really surprised me that people who I thought were unresponsive ,,(and I feel bad now for thinking that) have lifted heads, smiled, reached out for her...
  9. Amethyst59

    Denied access by Power of Attorney dubiously obtained

    Hello @pinfog, a horrible situation for you but you have definitely come to the right place to get help. I agree with the others, it is not a quick process to obtain LPA, and just filling the forms in is not enough. It needs to be registered. The other thing you could do, is contact Social...
  10. Amethyst59

    Can I ... Should I?

    Sam, I’m so sorry you are feeling down. Grieving is so hard and there are no short cuts, but I’m with @rosy18 , nice to think of your mum and dad dancing! The pain will lessen as time goes on. Please accept my wishes for a peaceful New Year x x x
  11. Amethyst59

    Another year over, A new one just beginning

    Happy New Year to you and Christel, Rob x x
  12. Amethyst59

    Please help

    I don’t think anyone has picked up on your question about using carers? I first of all used a self employed carer, so that I didn’t have to get into employment law (paying for holiday leave, tax declarations, National Insurance, liability insurance etc etc. For us, it went spectacularly wrong...
  13. Amethyst59

    time to admit and accept a move is necessary

    I just happened to ‘drop in’ today...and I’m so sorry to hear this. It won’t just be a big change for your dad, but you too. I know I feel quite attached to a lot of the carers in Martin’s home, and I expect it is even more so for you, as your dad has been there for so much longer. I do wish you...
  14. Amethyst59

    Help to negotiate through the maze of rules?

    Brilliant advice above, I can only add that PALs (patient liaison services) might be able to help you with the lack of communication, and that I was told (Kent) that each hospital has a dementia Matron...so that might be someone else to try Re communication and visiting outside ‘normal’ hours...
  15. Amethyst59

    the tears started and won't stop

    My late husband had cancer and I was his carer for years. I have found caring for a spouse with dementia MUCH harder.
  16. Amethyst59

    the tears started and won't stop

    I, too, am surprised when people ask how often I visit my husband. Where else would I be? I am doing some other things, piano, tai chi, WI, but don’t all married couples spend time together each day? Maybe when he doesn’t know who I am or whether I’m there or not, maybe then I won’t visit every...
  17. Amethyst59

    FINALLY! A 'formal' diagnosis!! But... I am so disappointed

    It is no help for you to know, but I think that the majority of us already know the diagnosis before we are given it formally, and, as said above, it sometimes makes no difference. It might help to do a search of what support is available in your area, so that maybe you can take a step...
  18. Amethyst59

    Power of attorney - notifying HMRC

    Wow, that’s harsh that they might fine you under these circumstances. I only manage to complete my husband’s form with the help of my daughter, who is an accountant. It will be such a relief for you, I’m sure, if you don’t have to do this each year. We have to do it as my husband has a foreign...
  19. Amethyst59

    Council responsibilities

    Hello, @baillieman2, welcome to Talking Point. I am sorry to hear about the sad circumstances of your father’s health. I know that many of our members have had family funded by the Local Authority and have been in a similar position to that in which you find yourself. I am sure that you will...
  20. Amethyst59

    Power of attorney - notifying HMRC

    Thank you @SophieD. This year my husband managed to sign his self assessment form after I completed it, but I think by next year I will have to register the LPA...so this is really helpful.