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    Difference of opinion on how best to care

    Hallo Bud's Mum: Thanks so much for the update, and it's great to hear that you've been able to get other people involved, both the professional and the family member. You must be feeling a lot less alone with the situation now. I hope things go well for you all, especially about the...
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    Difference of opinion on how best to care

    Hallo Bud's Mum How are things going? I'm sure a lot of us are wondering whether you've made any progress in your and your Mum's horrible situation... Our best wishes are with you! Pam
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    balancing my mil with my family.

    Barnsey, Is there a day centre that MiL could go to once a week or even more often? That would put a bit more time back into your week so that you could spend time with daughter and parents. We lived with my mother in her bungalow for four years and it was the day centre days which kept us...
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    Difference of opinion on how best to care

    "If all she's doing is walking to the loo and back then to seems likely that there might have been some foul play involved" (quote from an earlier msg) Quite so, Bud's Mum: I think the earlier contributor was unduly alarmist. My Mother broke her pelvis in a fall in the kitchen when I was...
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    Delicate post. DNR.

    I'd heard that for anyone over 75, and anyone with dementia, Resuscitation was likely to lead to a much poorer quality of life thereafter - a real step downwards. With both factors, double trouble. Mother was 97, living with dementia, quite contented and enjoying life but sometimes wearily...
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    Difference of opinion on how best to care

    I wonder whether brother is terrified that if Mum goes into a home he will lose his own home, as well as the carer's allowance and what she gives him (and she pays all the bills too). Depends whether it's rented, if so whose name on tenancy, or owned, again by whom, and on his age and any other...
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    #FightForRespite

    Link to Radio5 corrected I just followed that link and it led me to the programme on Fri 13th - also about dementia. I found your splendid input on Thurs 12th on this link: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b054p0cx . You were brilliant. Pam
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    #FightForRespite

    Congratulations, Ann, and good luck with the campaign. You've been brilliant thus far. I was s-o-o lucky that the care home in Mother's village took respite bookings, so in the 4 years of abandoning normal life to come and live with Mother to care for her we could at least have some planned...
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    Hospital Stay

    Talk to staff, the more senior the better, and ask whether the hospital has a Dementia Champion or similar title, whose job is to make sure that patients with dementia get looked after properly. If you're very lucky the hospital will have a dedicated ward or unit for dementia patients. Try PALS...
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    Have anyone else gained weight during their time as a carer?

    I put on a lot of weight when we moved in with mother to care for her, because: - she ate biscuits and cake as part of her regular diet (along with tiny portions of real meals - but she stayed very healthy on it all): at home we hardly ever had biscuits in the house, as I've always had a weight...
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    Brains for Dementia Research - Mother finally gets a definite diagnosis

    Thanks for sharing positive experiences. I put a note about it on the back of the order of service for Mother's funeral: it seemed a good way to encourage other people to sign up, and on a bit of paper they'd be taking home and perhaps keeping! And I'm pretty sure someone I've spoken to...
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    Brains for Dementia Research - Mother finally gets a definite diagnosis

    About four years ago I heard about Brains for Dementia Research, whereby brains can be donated post-mortem for use in research, and when I mentioned it to Mother she was really very positive about signing up for it so her brain could be useful when she'd no longer got any use for it. (She was a...
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    Abbreviations List and Dementia Talking Point Jargon

    I'm not on Talking Point much these days but dropped in just now and spotted CDN in a thread title, helpfully defined in the first post: Community Dementia Nurse. Now added. And corrected CVA and LBD in response to a message a few days ago. Always happy to have suggestions for additions or...
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    Abbreviations List and Dementia Talking Point Jargon

    FAST and FOOH added. Pam
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    Abbreviations List and Dementia Talking Point Jargon

    Hi Benjie, What was the context? Might it be a typo for something else? (eg FOH for Front of House, or something like that) Pam
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    Communication needs & problems in A&E

    Top priority: Allow carer to be there all the time that they can - when Mother was in Acute Surgical Unit with a broken pelvis last year, most of the staff thanked me for being on the ward roughly 8am-8pm, but one or two pointedly said "It's not open visiting on this ward, you know". She needed...
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    After the end of the journey: Brains for Dementia Research

    That's great, Louise: I'm sure it'll be a comfort to you at the relevant time in the future. Pam
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    After the end of the journey: Brains for Dementia Research

    PLEASE DON'T READ THIS THREAD IF YOU DON'T LIKE DISCUSSION OF POST-MORTEM TISSUE DONATION, I'd hate to upset anyone. Thanks to all of you who commented on the post I made on Sunday after Mother had died. I'm just so relieved that this silent heart attack released her before the dementia...
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    End of the journey

    Mother died today, aged 97. She'd been in a care home since last October after falling and breaking her pelvis, but those of you who've been around a while might remember that I started caring for her from a standing start when Father died suddenly (aged 92) in Dec 2009. Husband and I moved in...