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  1. M

    Saying Goodbye

    Thanks for everyone's kind words. My initial feeling was relief, but now I'm feeling very sad. I know it was the best thing for him and he's not suffering now. Sometimes it was a chore, going to the nursing home to sit with someone who didn't know I was there, but I wish I could do it again...
  2. M

    Saying Goodbye

    Said Goodbye I had a call from the nursing home early on Sunday morning saying they thought Dad maybe had 24 hours left. I went over and sat with him a while, just the two of us. Phoned my husband (who was at work) at lunchtime and he came and joined me. Dad's breathing was shallow, his...
  3. M

    Saying Goodbye

    5 years! OMG I don't think I could stand it for that long :eek: I really feel for you x
  4. M

    Saying Goodbye

    an update I told the care home not to contact me unless "Dad's situation changes" but after nearly 3 weeks I was going mad with not knowing anything so I phoned them and was basically told there was no change. I rang every couple of weeks or so, and was told he has continued to deteriorate...
  5. M

    Saying Goodbye

    But we're going away Monday morning so it's a bit late now. Good suggestion though.
  6. M

    Saying Goodbye

    That's a really good idea. Thank you.
  7. M

    Saying Goodbye

    I've been to see my Dad this afternoon. As soon as I got there I was collared by one of the carers, who told me that although Dad had eaten "a good lunch" today he has been refusing food for several days. I would have been more surprised if she had said he'd got out of bed and been dancing on...
  8. M

    I don't know how to cope with this

    I woke up this morning I had been dreaming I was sitting in a lounge in a care home with my Mum (who died 2 years ago) and my Dad. There was another man there who was a stranger to me, but I was telling him a story about something which had happened in the family (oddly it happened after my Mum...
  9. M

    I don't know how to cope with this

    I just googled it and you are right, but my Dad has been very deaf for years. He also has macular degeneration so he can't see either :(
  10. M

    I don't know how to cope with this

    I did go and spend some time with Dad last week. He gripped my hand and I like to think he knew it was me, not just an automatic response. He turned his head as if looking round the room, but apart from that he didn't move at all. Tina T, for some time I've always made sure I'm wearing the...
  11. M

    I feel broken

    It's the dying slowly bit which is so hard to come to terms with. Sending hugs x
  12. M

    I don't know how to cope with this

    Thanks so much for all your responses. I think it did me good just to get that off my chest to people who know what I'm going through. I did have a good night's sleep and I'm not feeling so down today. I will go and see him next week, and like you've said, just hold his hand and talk to him...
  13. M

    I don't know how to cope with this

    My Dad is 90, he's been in a CH for about 3 years. In January he had 2 falls in 24 hours and was taken to hospital. He was deemed fit for discharge but the CH wouldn't take him back as he would have been at too much risk, and said he would have to go to a nursing home. While trying to find...
  14. M

    Just need to VENT!!!

    I also have two invisible siblings. Neither of them have seen my Dad for two years (since my mum's funeral). He is very poorly now, on end of life care. I haven't even told them, and I'm sorely tempted not even to tell them when he goes or invite them to the funeral. (They will find out...
  15. M

    Is Dad now in the final stages of Alzheimer's?

    My Dad had a similar episode to yours. Within a space of weeks he was suddenly unable to wash, dress, he started sleeping a lot and his mobility was greatly reduced. I asked one of the carers if she thought this was the beginning of the end and she said everyone is different and was generally...
  16. M

    Daughter Getting Married - What to do about Mom?

    We took my Dad to my nephew's wedding a couple of years ago. He started the day off well, when meeting my son's girlfriend for the first time asking her "when are you getting married?" (She was taken aback!) He sat quietly through the ceremony but I don't know how much he understood. When...
  17. M

    Does dementia last longer in younger people vs older people?

    My Dad was 82 when he was diagnosed. He's in the latter stages now and was 90 last October.
  18. M

    withdrawing medical treatment

    I didn't believe my Dad could go downhill anymore, but I am amazed at the decline in the last two weeks. I went to stay with my 84 yr old mother in law last week, and came home to find lots of calls from the hospital about Dad. He had developed pneumonia while I was away and had virtually...
  19. M

    withdrawing medical treatment

    We didn't go and see the care manager for various reasons, but I had a call at the weekend to say Dad had had 2 falls in 24 hours so they had to call 999 and paramedics took him to hospital to be checked over. He hadn't had an "acute attack", it is just the dementia progressing. So Monday we...
  20. M

    withdrawing medical treatment

    i meant to come back here yesterday but I got distracted. I had a long chat with my husband on Wednesday night and we have decided to go and see the care home manager next week as my husband is not working and he can come with me then. I know I'm probably going to cry! Thanks for...